Cracked Archive - Tech

I can also slide one of my countless credit cards through the phone in the seat in front of me, and order whatever I damn well please from SkyMall before falling asleep on a tray table. These are the joys of affluence.

• By Soren Bowie
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• October 18, 2010

Imagine that somewhere Ford Motor Corp has a building full of engineers, right now, who have built a flying car that can go 300 miles an hour, runs on water, and has a device that gently massages your groin while you fly it.

• By Jim Avery
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• October 17, 2010

Computers will never work correctly. Live with it.

• By Stuart P. Bentley
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• October 09, 2010

Finding a video game easter egg is like putting on your favorite pair of pants and then finding a twenty in the pocket.

• By Luke McKinney
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• October 02, 2010

No matter how paranoid or how careful you are, if somebody wants to find you, and listen to what you're saying, they will.

• By Dan Seitz
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• September 20, 2010

StarCraft 2 is coming out. Looks like we won't be seeing Korea for a good 10 years.

• By Christina H
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• September 18, 2010

The Internet is indeed uniting the world, but probably not in the way that the idealists were hoping for. While we're still waiting for a new era of cross-cultural understanding and peace, what we get in the meantime are memes.

• By S Peter Davis
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• September 13, 2010

Microsoft has pretty much been covering TV screens with advertising excrement for as long as we can remember.

• By Christina H
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• September 04, 2010

If you're on the internet at all (and you obviously are) you probably either play Farmville or know one of the 60 million people who do

• By Christina H
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• August 16, 2010

Here are some things that anyone with a lick of sense would not put in the hands of a computer, and the people who are putting them into the hands of a computer.

• By Christina H
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• August 09, 2010

When you make forum posts beginning with, 'I'm not a racist, but...' or call us retards in the comments, do you use your real name? What if you had to?

• By Christina H, Jason Pargin
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• July 27, 2010

Before our window of time ruling Earth is slammed shut on our fleshy, poorly designed fingers, humanity is making one last stand: having robots do humiliating jobs for which they're wildly overqualified.

• By Kathy Benjamin
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• July 24, 2010

It's Day Two of the biggest week in the world of video games, and the industry is completely out of ideas.

• By Jason Pargin
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• June 16, 2010

This week is maybe the biggest of the year in the world of entertainment. This is when all of the games you'll be playing for the next twelve months are unveiled at the Electronic Entertainment Expo. This year's event, however, will more likely be remembered as the precise moment video gaming as we know it died a tragic and embarrassing death.

• By Jason Pargin
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• June 14, 2010

I don't know if the game making people were the nephews of the eccentric billionaire in charge of handing out the gold approval seals, or if Nintendo just didn't bother to check if the games sucked.

• By Seanbaby
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• May 29, 2010