Various rules of thumb for regular car maintenance have been passed down through the generations -- precious wisdom handed to us by our ancestors in order to stave off, for a spell, the ruinous, virgin-eating car repair monster. But many of these rules are, at best, wildly outdated and, at worst, a total waste of money.
When it comes to the reality of space, you can't just make up some tech jargon and reconfigure the deflector shields. It involves a lot more effort to think through panic, fire and toxic fumes.
Once you start seeing these misguided boasts, you'll soon realize they're amongst the saddest written words on the Internet. Instead of a sign of how awesome the poster is, they are instead inevitably a marker of how clueless they are about how the Internet actually works.
We're not saying that these companies intend to screw you over. All we're saying is that their legal teams have gone to great lengths to reserve the right to ... and to make sure you can't do a damned thing about it.
Necessity might be the mother of invention, but alcohol is the wish-granting genie: faster, more spectacular and almost infinitely more guaranteed to go wildly wrong and make you look stupid in the morning.
Are you Smart Enough To Work For Cracked?
We're sitting on some pretty revolutionary ways to greatly increase the speed at which we physically move from A to B. What's infuriating is that those breakthroughs are ridiculously simple.
What's more interesting than how some world-changing inventions were created? The fact that they were created for a completely different, and often stupid, purpose.
Some people are, let's just say, a little more casual around nuclear material than the rest of us. And by people we mean governments, corporations and just random, everyday dumbasses.
If you're a regular person, your regular-person-shield (otherwise known as common human decency) will repel you from apps like these. Of course, that doesn't mean there isn't a market for these things -- which is most frightening of all.
These weapons almost worked, in a world where 'almost working' might as well be 'hilarious failure.'
I'm actually speaking for all people on Twitter. Well, not all. I'm certainly not speaking for these jackasses herein.
Suprisingly, Stanley Kubrick was probably closest when he imagined the nuclear era as a game of poker between cocky, absent-minded lunatics. Only he probably didn't go far enough.