We're pretty sure the thing your brain does best is convince you that it works. But it doesn't take much to spot the bizarre little flaws in your gray matter.
Even among theories like these (which count their believers in the millions), you find that the whole thing is usually based on some embarrassingly simple misunderstanding.
In some ways, pirates were bizarrely ahead of the societal curve. In fact, some of their viewpoints would be heartily endorsed by the campus newspaper of a liberal arts college.
There are common words that you've probably used thousands of times in your life whose origins lay not in an inspired bard trying to expand the way we communicate, but in some dickholes messing with other people or just plain being nasty.
If you're going into battle, you've got two wardrobe options: You can dress in something practical -- camouflage, body armor, boring shit like that -- or you can slap on a SpongeBob costume.
