Cracked Archive - News

The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (12/15)
Watching the news, it's clear that the real world is a lot like the 'Star Wars' universe, in the sense that there are lots of people getting limbs hacked off by religious extremists.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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596
5 BS Myths About Being Poor You Believe Thanks To The Media
As far as most news outlets are concerned, anyone below the poverty line is fair game as a source of national amusement and mockery.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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1158
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (12/8)
Watching the news can leave you with the impression that the world is secretly run by YouTube commenters.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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862
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/24)
A quick look at the news should make you thankful that you're not currently running and screaming from some disaster or another.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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629
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/17)
The news can seem like a crossover between the 'Saw' franchise and 'Groundhog Day.'
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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840
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6 Shady Ways The Media Makes Millennials Look Like Idiots
Look, folks, portraying the youth of today as Archie and Jughead hopped up on The Weeknd and emojis isn't going to make the world a less stupid place.
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- By Michael Hossey
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676
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/10)
Following the news every day will make you wonder why Matt Damon didn't just ask to stay on Mars.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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683
5 Weirdly Accepted Ways The Media Is Racist Against Asians
With all this credulity-straining clickbait everywhere, it's reasonable to assume that everybody who writes for the Internet is in truth the same stoned intern.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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515
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/3)
Following the news is like reading a superhero comic in which the heroes actually stay dead.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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712
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/27)
Forget Kim Kardashian's bum. Star Wars: The Force Awakens is breaking the internet.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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735
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/20)
The news is like a very confusing story written by a novelist who was trying to treat his chronic paranoia with cocaine.
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- By Ted E.
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501
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/13)
Trying to stay on top of the news is like trying to defeat a swarm of killer bees by eating them.
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- By Ted E.
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607
6 Idiotic Stories About Aliens The News Keeps Regurgitating
In the latest installment of our never-ending quest to keep you safe from the Internet's tidal waves of bullshit, we'd like to focus on alien life.
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- By Mark Hill
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314
6 True Stories That Prove Local News Is Creepy As Hell
Pick up any small-town newspaper and you'll see a special section reserved for stuff straight out of a bad episode of 'X-Files.'
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- By Michael Hossey
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259
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/6)
The news is like a 'Walking Dead' spinoff where they've replaced the zombies with assholes.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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745