Cracked Archive - News

The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/4)

Staying on top of current events is like trying to keep an accurate count of the wolves who are currently chasing you through the woods.


15 Embarrassing Secrets You Hope Hackers Don't Release

Hacking is all the rage these days -- and everyone's name is on the hit list.


5 Insane Police Forces That Have Zero Right To Arrest You

It's not easy being a cop. So imagine how frustrating it must be when they run across organized groups of half-cocked, wannabe, do-gooding amateurs like these people.


5 Ways College Screws Over Poor Kids

There are a whole bunch of really smart, motivated, hard-working people who aren't being given a shot at a real education.


The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/28)

Judging from the news, the cabal of powerful people who secretly run the world have all dropped a shitload of acid recently.


5 Incredibly Positive Trends No One's Talking About

If you take a moment to stop actively focusing on the negative, it's easy to see that, despite our collective insistence to the contrary, the world as a whole is chugging along towards a better place.


6 News Stories Everybody Needs To Stop Sharing On Facebook

Stop making the world a worse place.


I Buy Human Teeth: 4 Realities Of A Weird Black Market

Where do your teeth go after they've been pulled out of your screaming skull by a sadist with a light on his forehead?


6 Brothels that Turn Sex Into A Day At An Amusement Park

Even though the basic product is still the same (roof, prostitutes, wet-naps, shame), there's apparently still room for some forward-thinking innovation.


5 Reasons Even Gun Owners Should Hate The NRA

Listen, United States: You really need to stop the board of the NRA.


The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/21)

The world makes about as much sense as the plot of your average late-night Cinemax porno, one watched with the sound off so your Mom doesn't hear.


5 Drugs That Turn Your World Into A Real-Life Horror Movie

I wouldn't blame you if you have a hard time looking at Pixy Stix again after seeing the effects of these drugs.


The 12 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/14)

Watching the news is a lot like watching the new season of 'True Detective,' only with even more angst and ridiculous mustaches.


15 Media Panics That Totally Missed The Point

The news media is a scary powerful entity. And its got great looking teeth, too.


The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/7)

Judging by the news, the world is kind of like Jurassic Park, only if the dinosaurs were in charge of security.