Even though the basic product is still the same (roof, prostitutes, wet-naps, shame), there's apparently still room for some forward-thinking innovation.
The world makes about as much sense as the plot of your average late-night Cinemax porno, one watched with the sound off so your Mom doesn't hear.
I wouldn't blame you if you have a hard time looking at Pixy Stix again after seeing the effects of these drugs.
Watching the news is a lot like watching the new season of 'True Detective,' only with even more angst and ridiculous mustaches.
Judging by the news, the world is kind of like Jurassic Park, only if the dinosaurs were in charge of security.
Fireworks are stupid, but there are certain occasions when watching them cane be incredibly fun. That, of course, is when they malfunction.
We learned that, if we're not the father of ISIS, the United States is at least some sort of uncle.
Our social media feeds are constantly bombarded with incredible images ... that are also 100 percent cow-pie.
No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity. So we're here to help.
Breaking an important story is such an all-encompassing dream that some reporters won't even think twice about flat-out lying to get that extremely uncomfortable Jacuzzi full of Pulitzer Prizes they all so desperately crave.