You can thank us later for how smart and interesting you're going to sound to all your friends and families and cats.
Just when you think you've got the news media matrix figured out, somebody reboots it.
It's fun to spend a few minutes every day in a fantasy world where Donald Trump is hours away from impeachment, but a fantasy world is all that is.
Keeping up with meaningful news stories is like trying to follow a pre-dawn Twitter rant. No reasonable person can be expected to make sense of it all.
For those in Estonia, all-out war with Russia is such a reality, they actively prepare for it.
Keeping up with meaningful news stories is like trying to find an M&M in a Skittles factory.
Bill Maher is almost as big a piece of garbage as Milo is.
We can't promise that any of these fascinating facts will save your life -- or, for that matter, be of any practical use whatsoever.
Keeping up with the news is like shopping at a big box store. It's busy, it's confusing, and there's just so much of everything.
Grab a beer, you pitchfork-shining renegade.