Cracked Archive - News
Sometimes the news is like a car alarm in a parking garage.
The news outlets are like infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters, but without all the Shakespeare.
Some weeks the news comes at you like a wrestler with a folding chair.
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Look, we get it. You'd rather go through a full TSA screening than keep up with the news.
Some weeks the news plays like an episode of 'Lost' -- and not that first season where it sorta made sense.
Life inside the White House sure seems to have gotten a lot weirder in the past few months.
- By Mark Hill
The weekly news cycle is like the disclaimers at the end of a prescription drug commercial.
For every Bob Woodward, every Snowden, and every Carl Bernstein, there are a bunch of unknown schmucks who have changed the world without us ever noticing them.
- By Amanda Mannen
Here's what's blowing up everyone's social media feeds this week.
Keeping up with the news is like trying to excavate Tanis with a teacup.