Cracked Archive - News

5 Crazy Trump White House Stories No One's Talking About
Behind-the-scenes, the White House resembles an episode of 'The Office' directed by Kafka.
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- By Adam Wears
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184
Verizon Cut A Fire Department's Data (During A Wildfire)
It takes courage, passion, and the Unlimited Data Plus Package to save lives.
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- By Cedric Voets
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27
San Francisco's Human Poop Crisis Has Reached New Levels
A special task force is being assembled to keep the city from drowning in human feces.
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- By Cedric Voets
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61
Bad News! Crocs Aren't Going Out Of Business
Fans panicked after the company announced its last manufacturing plants are closing, but unfortunately, Crocs will never die.
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- By Cedric Voets
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13
In Italy, Police Are Cracking Down On, Uh, Sand Theft
Heavy fines are being issued for stealing Sardinia's most prized possession: its beaches.
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- By Cedric Voets
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Net Neutrality Is Dead, But We Can Bring It Back: Here's How
It's not too late to try to help net neutrality.
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- By Cedric Voets
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109
Chicago Restaurant To Hawaii: Stop Using The Word 'Aloha'
The people of Hawaii have a few other words for this trademark bully.
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- By Cedric Voets
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29
Is Guy Fieri An American Hero? (Yes, He Is)
It's time to talk about Guy Fieri.
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- By Adam Wears
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23
Flint, Michigan Still Has Polluted Water: Here's How To Help
Does the world sometimes seem like one big lead-filled swamp of injustice? Here's how you can help.
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- By Cedric Voets
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114
Space Octopuses & Other Weird Conspiracies Making The Rounds
People believe the darndest things.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey, Andres Diplotti
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118
News Flash: GOP Candidate Outed For Enjoying Bigfoot Erotica
And it's only the second grossest thing he's into.
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- By Cedric Voets
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39
How The 2020 Census Could Doom American Democracy
We need to start caring about the census, because things are looking bad.
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- By Adam Wears
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229
Oh No! America's Worst Candy Has Been Discontinued
The sudden loss of Necco Wafers and Sweethearts is already being felt by fans -- all none of them.
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- By Cedric Voets
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49
Puerto Rico's Been Totally Destroyed: Here's How To Help
Here's how you can help Puerto Rico (no paper towels necessary.)
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- By Cedric Voets
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117
Salmonella Cereal, Super STDs, & Other Breaking Health News
All the amazing health news you need right now.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey, Andres Diplotti
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78