Capitol-Sieging Yahoos Include Britney Spears' ex, Washed-Up Indie Boy
As the FBI says they've begun the process of identifying the insurgents that took part in yesterday's attack on the United States Capitol, it seems as if eagle-eyed social media users and reporters have once again managed to surpass the speed of government operations, outing several rioters. While one of the participants in question includes a man definitely not named "Via Getty", a few somewhat famous faces reportedly appeared at the riot, most notably Jason Alexander, whose claim to fame was marrying Britney Spears's for a whopping 55 hours back in 2004, proving the media (myself included) really grasps at straws sometimes when determining who constitutes a celeb.
Not to be confused with the certifiably superior Jason Alexander, a.k.a Seinfeld's George Costanza, who seems to know what's up ...
... Insider reports that the other Alexander, an alleged anti-masker who's Facebook bio says he works as a "Journalist researcher" for a page called "Conspiracy Theories & History" partook in the siege, Although it is still unclear whether or not he was in the group that trespassed into the Capitol building, Brit Brit's non-KFed ex took to Facebook to chronicle his time at the capitol.
"DC. Millions showed up," he wrote alongside a snap of himself donning a "45" hat, the photo complete with a background MAGA flag and that classic mom's-first-Facebook-selfie camera angle.
Poor Britney. 55 hours is way too long to be married to someone so, well, Toxic.
However, Alexander wasn't the only famous (?) face to appear at the riot. Famous chillwave douchebag, Ariel Pink also attended, alleging he did so peacefully.
"i was in dc to peacefully show my support for the president," he wrote in response to a fan holding him accountable after seeing a picture of him and fellow musician, John Maus. "i attended the rally on the white house lawn and went back to hotel and took a nap. case closed."
Soon after, he shared his fears over being "canceled" for his participation in this terrifying event.
Boo hoo. 3 edgy 5 me. Since then, Pink, a.k.a. the official artist of every pretentious hipster boy you dated in 2008, continued to double down on his alarming views, sharing tweets furthering the President's baseless allegations of voter fraud in the election.
Not too surprising considering Pink's past misogynistic and homophobic statements. Once a wacko always a wacko, I guess.
So folks, there you have it. "Celebrities," they're not always just like us, and by not always just like us, I mean they attend sieges of our nation's Capitol!