Cracked Archive - News

Poisoned Halloween Candy Just Isn't A Thing

What kind of weirdo tampers with Halloween candy?

By Tim Hawkman, Ian Fortey
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October 31, 2017

You Can See Mario's Officially Licensed Wiener

Mario's dingaling appears in an officially licensed manga, so his pendulous little disco stick is canon.

By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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October 30, 2017

Huge Questions 'Stranger Things' Needs To Answer In Season 3

WARNING: SPOILERS ARE AHEAD. IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED STRANGER THINGS 2, GET THE HECK OUT OF THIS ARTICLE. GO BACK TO HANGING OUT WITH YOUR JOCK FRIENDS.

By Tim Hawkman, Daniel Dockery
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October 30, 2017

The AI That Generates Halloween Costumes Is The Singularity

This woman is a certifiable evil genius.

By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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October 30, 2017

Burger King's Bullying PSA Is Just Ham-Fisted Manipulation

There's a good chance you're one of the 2.3 million and counting to have watched 'Bullying Jr.' The ad is getting a string of accolades normally reserved for Best Picture nominees, and it deserves absolutely none of them.

By Tim Hawkman, Mark Hill
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October 27, 2017

A Giant Worm Was Found And It Turns Out, They're Very Common

Look at that cute little baby elephant trunk ... Oh, that's an earthworm.

By Katie Goldin
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October 27, 2017

Southwest's Live In-Flight Music Is Cruel And Unusual

I thought it was impossible to innovate a worse flying experience. But Southwest has pushed the envelope with their new in-flight live entertainment.

By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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October 27, 2017

How President Trump Has Ruined Comedy

I wish I could just do stupid jokes again.

By Daniel O'Brien
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October 26, 2017

The 16 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/31/17)

The news is like a haunted house, but with a lot more jump-scares.

568

By Ted E., Scott Laffey
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October 26, 2017

Regal's Dynamic Ticket Fees Could Cause A Class Divide

Regal Cinemas is trying out a demand-based pricing structure ... which sounds like it could be a pretty terrible idea for everyone.

By Tim Hawkman, Lydia Bugg
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October 26, 2017

Sophia The Terrifying Robot Gained Citizenship

This Hanson Robotics android threatened to destroy humanity, appeared on Jimmy Fallon's show, and is likely a psychopath. She's going to be our next president.