Cracked Archive - News

7 Weird Secrets You Learn Doing Makeup For US Politicians

Thanks to Nixon, politicians have relied on makeup artists to hide their late nights, cold sores, and reptilian skin from public view for years. We talked to three of them, and this is what we learned.


The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/5/17)

Some weeks the news is like a clown hiding in your sewer.


Dear 'Free Speech' Activists, You're Not Helping

The internet has spoiled us into believing that everyone is entitled to a platform.


Back-To-School Supplies For The Criminally Insane

Editor's Note: We asked Katie to write an article on cool, useful products you can buy your kid before they go back to school. Clearly she did not understand this very simple assignment.


5 Pieces Of Good News About The Recent Surge Of Nazis

Modern Nazis won't be goose-stepping across the country in groups of millions in the foreseeable future.


The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/29/17)

Keeping up with the news is like jumping into a passing flash mob.


5 Things To Understand About Modern Hate Groups

When we replace the hateable caricatures people use to justify their beliefs with actual human beings, would it change how they feel? That's not a rhetorical question.


5 Batsh** Details About Trump-Russia Nobody's Talking About

Despite the fact that this sordid tale is all over every (non-FOX) news station these days, the press has somehow neglected to tell you the weirdest parts.


The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/22/17)

We get it. You'd rather chew your own foot off than check the news right now.