Cracked Archive - News

Dr. Fauci Gives Pro-LGBT Statement As Mike Pence, Um, Looks On
Praising the gay community for their strength in the AIDS crisis right in front of Mike Pence is a nice get.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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75
Two Black Men Were Kicked Out Of Walmart By Police For Wearing Facemasks
The real pandemic just might be stupidity.
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- By Dan Duddy
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70
Forget Waffle House Waffle Mix, It's Gone
Waffle House's Waffle Mix sold out online real quick.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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14
Comic Books Are Getting Totally Boned Right Now
(Insert morose Kryptonite pun here.)
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- By Maxwell Yezpitelok
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29
God Save The Queen: The Boeing 747 Is Quietly Retiring
It's a sad retirement for the Queen of the Skies, made sadder by the fact that we didn't get to fully prepare for it.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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27
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Traffic Is Light, So One Guy Took Advantage To Drive Like A Maniac
Here's a guy who has used social distancing to make a million dollars disappear in the blink of an eye.
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- By Dan Duddy
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37
Pharma Bro Wants A Crack At This (And Out Of Prison)
What is this, some kind of Shkreli Squad?
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- By Cedric Voets
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28
Idiots Are Risking It All Right Now For Cigarettes
Tobacco is getting people to do some pretty stupid things right now.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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25
The White House Briefings Are Beyond Useless
The White House Press briefings leave more questions unanswered than the Lost finale.
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- By Dan Duddy
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61
How Benjamin Netanyahu's 'Evidence' Of Covered-Up Iranian Deaths Became Funny
A short story.
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- By Luis Prada
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23
8 Stupid, Stupid Excuses Given By People Who Got Caught
You can't play the 'I got attacked by a grizzly bear' card that often.
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- By Chris Scott, Pete Smith, Israel SH, Julia Lange, Peter I. Santiago, Angel Summers, Tee Ngin Rui, Eric Nolff
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39
For The Love Of God, Can We Just Legalize Weed Now?
Shouldn't we just legalize weed already?
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- By Dan Duddy
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58
Cell Tower Conspiracy Theory Is A Doozy
This might be the new champion of dumb conspiracy theories.
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- By Dan Duddy
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39
Industries Left In Shambles By All This
Not every one is getting a bail out.
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- By Kelly Stone
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89
Bill De Blasio Is The Dumbest Man In NYC
When it comes to dealing with the coronavirus Bill de Blasio has been a one-man three stooges routine.
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- By Dan Duddy
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90