Cracked Archive - News
Regal's Dynamic Ticket Fees Could Cause A Class Divide
Regal Cinemas is trying out a demand-based pricing structure ... which sounds like it could be a pretty terrible idea for everyone.
- By Tim Hawkman, Lydia Bugg
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- October 26, 2017
Sophia The Terrifying Robot Gained Citizenship
This Hanson Robotics android threatened to destroy humanity, appeared on Jimmy Fallon's show, and is likely a psychopath. She's going to be our next president.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- October 26, 2017
News Anchors Try Carolina Reaper Pepper And It's Pure Art
This video is one of the greatest performance art pieces of all time.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- October 26, 2017
What Stupid Conspiracy Theory Is Out There Now? (11/1/17)
What crazy conspiracy theory is the internet up in arms about now?
- By Tim Hawkman, Chris Pauls
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- October 25, 2017
The Sad Reason So Many Horror Directors Become Hacks
When a horror director makes a string of subpar movies, fans are usually quick to cry out in agony,
- By Tim Hawkman, Daniel Dockery
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- October 25, 2017
Amazon Key Couriers Could Get Lured Into Elaborate Traps
The Amazon Key is the prefect delivery system for agoraphobic serial killers.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- October 25, 2017
What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? (10/28/2017)
NO. STOP IT. KILL THEM. KILL THEM ALL WITH FIRE.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- October 25, 2017
Janet Jackson & The NFL Prove Victim-Blaming Is Relentless
Big congratulations are in order for Justin Timberlake, as we've finally overcome inequality in the world, so he's allowed to perform again at the Superbowl Halftime Show!
- By Tim Hawkman, Ian Fortey
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- October 24, 2017
A Bunch Of Weed Delivered To An Innocent Couple On Accident
Ugh, why don't I get free weed when I order from Amazon?
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- October 24, 2017
Michael Bay's Dora The Explorer Movie Is For Who, Exactly?
Dora the Explorer is getting that gritty, live-action reboot we've all hoped and dreamed for.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- October 24, 2017
What It's Like To Eat Taco Bell's Experimental Food
Word around social media circles is that Taco Bell might soon be releasing something called the Chocoladilla.
- By Tim Hawkman, Luis Prada
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- October 23, 2017
A Zoo Is Bribing A Weird Panda With Sex
This panda is outta control!
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- October 23, 2017
Starbucks Released A New Holiday Cup. Everybody Panic!
The marketing team for Starbucks are a bunch of geniuses. Frightening geniuses.
- By Katie Goldin
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- October 23, 2017
4 Reasons Sexual Assault Victims Don't Step Forward
#MeToo asked women to just step forward and align themselves with fellow survivors, and even that simple act was tough.
- By Kristi Harrison
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- October 21, 2017
KFC's Been Trolling Us For A While (And We Just Now Noticed)
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- October 20, 2017
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