Cracked Archive - News

Clarence Thomas Finally Speaks, And It's About 'Lord of the Rings'
One does not simply walk into an oral argument expecting Clarence Thomas to name-drop Frodo Baggins.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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24
White House Crash Test Dummy: Jared Kushner
Kushner is Trump's human shield, whether either of them realize it or not.
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- By Dan Duddy
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22
Voting By Mail Should Be The Norm Come November
There's no reason not to make voting as smooth and safe of a process as possible.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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88
4 Straight-Up Evil Acts Committed by Companies
Remember: the customer is always the mark.
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- By Mike Bedard
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48
Hey, Don't Be That P.O.S. Wearing A KKK Hood As A Pandemic Mask
Not even coronavirus can stop people being racist asshats.
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- By Dan Duddy
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36
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Donald Trump Is Scared Of Reporters' Basic Questions
The President treats press briefings like he's caught in a game of 'Silent Hill.'
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
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102
Rich Jerk Named 'Dick Pusey' Taunts Police Officers As They Die
Who knew a guy named Dick Pusey would be such an asshole?
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- By Dan Duddy
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59
Jerry Stiller Is Gone, But Frank Costanza Remains
It can't be understated how funny this guy was.
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- By Dan Duddy
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14
Buffets Are Pretty Much Dead
No Country For Old Country Buffets
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- By Dan Duddy
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49
Grubhub's Playing The Long Game Against Dine-In
Grubhub is clearly trying to be the Amazon of take-out.
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- By Dan Duddy
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12
Study: Hey, Maybe Universal Basic Income Isn't The Worst Idea Ever
It's worth taking a look at how a Universal Basic Income would actually impact people in the real world.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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61
Why Trump Can Just Get Away With It
Not even the history books will bring Trump and his allies the justice they deserve.
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- By Dan Duddy
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89
The Venezuelan Coup Attempt Is One of The Dumbest Stories In A While
It's like a coup lead by the gang from 'It's Always Sunny.'
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- By Luis Prada
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49
Everyday Stuff America Sucks At (Compared To Everybody Else)
Sweating the small stuff.
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- By Cedric Voets
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224
Why Doesn’t Trump Wear A Mask
Trump's refusal to wear a mask isn't just another gaffe.
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- By Dan Duddy
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57