Cracked Archive - News
Designer Pasta Means Rich People Have Run Out Of Ideas
I don't understand how you can make dried pasta gourmet.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- /
- November 16, 2017
The ACLU Should Use Truck Nuts As A Free Speech Precedent
I'm not some kind of fancy city lawyer, but if you can apply this law to a bumper sticker, what of truck nuts?
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
- /
- November 16, 2017
We Fantasy Cast The New Mario Bros, You're Welcome, Nintendo
We feel that we can do Mario justice.
- By Andres Diplotti, Lydia Bugg
- /
- November 15, 2017
Affleck Seems To Think It's Ok To Joke About Harassment Now
Powerful men are accustomed to a certain amount of formulaic lenience.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- /
- November 15, 2017
What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now (11/19/2017)
Sexy comes in many different, subjective flavors.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
- /
- November 15, 2017
The 6 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/14/17)
We follow the news, so you don't have to.
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
- /
- November 14, 2017
How To Keep The 'LOTR' Series From Being An Expensive Flop
Amazon just paid half of all the money in the world to get the right to Lord of the Rings .
- By Ian Fortey, Andres Diplotti
- /
- November 14, 2017
Are Gorillas Using Tinder Now? Spoilers: No, They're Not
As adorable as this video is, it's important to remember that gorilla body language doesn't always translate well to humans.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
- /
- November 14, 2017
There's Gourmet Sushi For Dogs (Who Lick Their Own Butts)
Dogs need a lot of love, cuddles, food, and occasionally, for their owner to clean poop off their butt fur.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- /
- November 14, 2017
The DC Universe Is Just A String Of Nonsensical Reboots
Hey! 'Justice League' comes out this Friday. Y'all excited about that?
- By Daniel Dockery, Andres Diplotti
- /
- November 13, 2017
The BBC Quoted A Hardcore Porn Website's Anti-Trump Tweet
I'm offended by the implication that hardcore porn sites can't have political opinions.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- /
- November 13, 2017
Smart Hannity Fans Smash Their Own Coffee Makers In Protest
You know what really triggers liberals? When you destroy your own expensive property.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
- /
- November 13, 2017
5 Famous News Stories You Didn't Know Had Insane Epilogues
The news cycle tends to operate with the attention span of a coked-up fruit fly.
- By Pauli Poisuo
- /
- November 11, 2017
What Stupid News About Millennials Is There Now? (11/14/17)
Millennials don't deserve the rap they get.
- By Tim Hawkman, Chris Pauls
- /
- November 10, 2017
Why Hollywood Predators Out Themselves In Their Work
Louis CK's 'I Love You, Daddy' just got exponentially more uncomfortably depraved.
- By Tim Hawkman, Ian Fortey
- /
- November 10, 2017
Viral on Cracked
