Cracked Archive - News
Here's Why Bernie Sanders And Elizabeth Warren Are Fighting
Can anti-war candidates go to war? It sure seems like they just did.
- Authors
- By Adam Wears
- Published
- Comments
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1
1 The Horny Tortoise Who Saved His Species Is A Fraud
All hail tortoise sex god E5!
- Authors
- By Luis Prada
- Published
- Comments
- 6
5 'Ugh' Trump Stories The News Totally Forgot About
We're so inundated with Trump news that we shrug off scandals that would tank any other president.
- Authors
- By E.M. Caris
- Published
- Comments
- 246
Sorry Texas, But No One Needs To Learn Cursive Ever Again
Let's bring back the telegraph while we're at it.
- Authors
- By Luis Prada
- Published
- Comments
- 16
Medical Marijuana Is Apparently A Joke To Ohio Football Fans
Bad marijuana is not a good solution to bad football.
- Authors
- By Isaac Cabe
- Published
- Comments
- 1
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What The Wienermobile Says About The Modern Economy
You need a degree to drive a hot dog because that's where we're at.
- Authors
- By Amanda Mannen
- Published
- Comments
- 37
4 Crapsack Things That Are Still Legal In The USA
The year is 2020.
- Authors
- By Mark Hill
- Published
- Comments
- 174
Flight Attendants' Uniforms Are Making Them Sick (Again)
It's apparently hard to make fly-looking clothing that won't make the flight attendants incredibly sick.
- Authors
- By Isaac Cabe
- Published
- Comments
- 1
Michelin Beat A Chef's Lawsuit, And That's A Big Deal
Losing a Michelin star sucks, losing a court case over it is much, much worse.
- Authors
- By Isaac Cabe
- Published
- Comments
- 0
6 Conspiracy Theories That Had 'Yikes' Real-World Effects
The craziest theories have a disturbing way of spilling over into real life.
- Authors
- By Alex Hanton
- Published
- Comments
- 172
4 Viral Stories With The Weirdest Plot Twists
Things get crazy when the spotlight goes out.
- Authors
- By Adam Wears
- Published
- Comments
- 83
Sea Lions Commandeer Ship, Declare War On Mankind
We need YOU to scare off 2,000 pounds of blubber.
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 1
Meet The Dystopian Toilet Designed To Make Work Suck
This toilet is a narc.
- Authors
- By Luis Prada
- Published
- Comments
- 0
5 Republicans In Congress Who Are Garbage Humans
No politician is perfect, but some are more not perfect than others.
- Authors
- By Maxwell Yezpitelok
- Published
- Comments
- 309
5 Dumb Ways People In Trump's Orbit Are Trying To Cash In
The Trump presidency has attracted a dizzying array of grifters.
- Authors
- By Alex Hanton, E. Reid Ross, James Kinneen
- Published
- Comments
- 60
