Cracked Archive - News

How To Contribute to Protests (When You’re Very White)
Pull up a chair, folks.
- Authors
- By Mark Hill
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124
Myths About the Protests, Debunked
George Soros is hiding under your bed and leaving bricks in your stockings.
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- By Luis Prada
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63
Dude, It's Only June.
2020 is a year we'll never forget and it's not even half over.
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- By Dan Duddy
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15
LAPD's Commissioner Getting Clowned On Zoom Was Delightful
For anyone craving a bit of catharsis during all of this violence, trust us, this is better than porn.
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- By Dan Duddy
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23
'Blackout Tuesday' Immediately Sank Because White Supporters Couldn't Shut Up
Gotta keep those hearts coming at any cost, to the point of metaphysical contradiction.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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30
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Shut The F Up About Looting Macy's
How do you compare the destruction of large retail chains to what happens to Black people everyday? I don't know, but people are trying.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
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136
K-Pop Stans And Hackers Are Sabotaging Cops With Music Bombs
A pitched battle.
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- By Cedric Voets
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28
Workplace Horror Stories From Famous Companies
Every company has its embarrassing secrets, these are even worse.
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- By Alex Hanton
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18
Jeffrey Epstein Had An 'Egg-Shaped Penis'
There's nothing wrong with having an egg-shaped penis, like Jeffrey Epstein.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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31
Unexpected Groups That Are Getting Torn Apart By Drama
Small communities, major drama.
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- By Cedric Voets
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65
Uh ... Trump Doesn't Have The Power To Label ANTIFA A Terrorist Organization
But, if we're wrong, Trump can arrest anyone who politically opposes him with impunity.
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- By Dan Duddy
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87
The U.S. Riots Were Always Going To Happen, And Chile Proves It
All of this already happened in Chile, from the riots to sexy Spider-Man.
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- By Maxwell Yezpitelok
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202
Totally WTF Criminal Schemes (You Won't Believe Are True)
These guys make Joe Exotic look like Joe Boring.
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- By Alex Hanton
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25
Anti-Vaxxers Are More Organized Than You Think
It's not just soccer moms anymore.
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- By Adam Wears
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67
Stop Explaining What MLK 'Would Have Done' To MLK’s Children
Twitter users know no shame.
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- By Dan Duddy
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98