Cracked Archive - News

'Liberate' Protestors Are The Dumbest Thing That Could Have Happened Right Now

No needs to listen to this tiny group of morons trying to get you sick.

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We'd Be Better Off With Dr. Pepper Than These 'Doctors'

Celebrity doctors are more dangerous now than ever, which makes us wonder, did we ever need them in the first place?

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News That'll Give You Hope We Can Beat This Thing

There may be a light at the end of the tunnel.

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New Boogeyman For Conspiracy Loons: Bill Gates

Bill Gates, of all people, is somehow being blamed for this pandemic.

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Unassuming Small Businesses That Hid Big-Time Scams

These were small businesses, but big time crooks.

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How To Spot Fake News From A Mile Away

Here's how to avoid becoming an uninformed angry internet denizen.

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Goodbye Land O'Lakes Butter Lady. You Won't Be Missed.

It's about time we just let Mia retire.

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Dude Handed Drive-Thru Employees $40k

Here's the type of Instagram challenge we can all get behind.

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Pope Scotch Comment (Stupidly) Stricken From History

All you ever hear about in Catholicism is wine, wine, wine. Pope Francis has other ideas.

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Does Anyone In The White House Understand How Money Works?

The stimulus package is like putting a bandaid on the bleeding stump where your arm got ripped off.

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Unexpected Ways Governments Around The World Are Responding To The Crisis

Even government has had to rethink the way we do things.

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Pennsylvania's Liquor Laws Aren't Helping Right Now

Pennsylvania's Prohibition-era alcohol infrastructure is causing an interstate commerce crisis.

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Arizona 'Hard' Tea Is The Trash Tea Of The People

Gas station iced tea? With vodka? It's gonna be the drink for everyone.

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Trump Pulls Total Trump Move With Stimulus Checks

Why not add more confusion and delay to an already confusing and delayed process?

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An Ohio Senate Candidate Is (Stupidly) Protesting Outside The Statehouse

This is a time for leadership, not blind stupidity.

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