Cracked Archive - Music

6 Alternate Album Covers You Won't Believe Almost Happened

Many of these bands almost made history for a different reason -- by producing albums with covers that would have traumatized (or at least confused) a generation.


The 6 Least Hip Internet References in Song Lyric History

There's a fine line between 'artful inclusion' and 'unskilled name-dropping,' and the following songs dove headfirst into the latter, awkwardly revealing that on the whole, pop stars simply do not use computers.


The 6 Most Hilarious Failures in Music Censorship History

Somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 percent of the people reading this think music censorship is stupid.


The 4 Types of Bar: A Survival Guide

Even though I like bars, they are not all the same. They come in all shapes and sizes, and our young, impressionable readers need a sexy older man with a misspent life to shepherd them


6 Screw-Ups by Famous Bands That Make Spinal Tap Look Smooth

Live music is a fickle beast. Any number of things can go wrong at any given moment, in completely hilarious ways no less.


5 Famous Bands That Are Clearly Ashamed of Key Members

It's a sad fact of life in a band that, sometimes, certain members are going to get a little less attention than others. And some bands take hiding their peripheral members to dizzying new heights.


6 Popular Songs You Didn't Know Have Dark Hidden Messages

The drawback of making a subtle point in song about the human condition is that nobody pays attention to subtle points in songs.


5 Music Videos That Justify the Existence of the Internet

These music videos would have been destroyed by production committees, and only exist because the Internet is a thing. And the world is better for it.


The 5 Least Necessary Cover Songs of All Time

There are cover songs that add absolutely nothing new and are a success merely for the artist's ability to ape everything that was good about the original. Here are five covers, competently played, but with shockingly little imagination.


5 Celebrities Who Get Way More Hate Than They Deserve

I'll make a joke about anything if the situation calls for it. But sometimes, believe it or not, I'm only joking. That's as true for 'awful' celebrities as it is for anyone or anything else.


5 Terrifying Origin Stories Behind Popular Children's Songs

As nauseatingly wholesome as children's songs may seem, sometimes there are corpses buried under those mountains of spaghetti.


The 10 Most Ridiculous Album Cover Trends of All Time

With an industry full of people getting paid loads of money to make decisions that don't matter, people are going to play it safe. Which is where you get trends like these.


5 Sappy Songs That Deserve Heavy Metal Makeovers

Metalheads, please don't school me on what bands are actually Metal or what Metal is. For the purposes of this column, I'm using the term somewhat loosely to convey loud, guitar-based rock played with dark intensity.