Cracked Archive - History

The (Accident Riddled) History Of Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is an absurd helium-filled mess.


5 Randos That Proved To Be Unkillable When Faced With Certain Death

They store down Death. Death blinked.


One Of America's Most Nightmarish Monsters Was A Nice Old Lady

Meet Georgia Tann: adoption advocate, kindly senior, and ghoul who stole 5,000 children.


Eye Rolling Was Your Grandparents' DTF Sign

As comical as that sounds, we scrunch up half of our faces as we close one eye to express the same thing today, so we can’t exactly talk.


Georgia O'Keeffe Hated People Thinking Her Flower Paintings Are 'Vaginas'

Naturally, the person responsible for making sure everyone perverted O’Keeffe’s pretty flowers was a man.


5 Of The Weirdest Things (That Managed To Happen Twice)

Life is random. Which means some things don't feel random at all.


Meet Crazy Eddie, The Least Boring Grifter In American History

His prices were almost as insane as his, well, decades of corporate malfeasance.


The First Dinosaur Fossil ... Looked Like A Ballsack

There's just no getting around it ...


Throwing Politicians Out Of Windows: A Prague Historical Tradition

Religious equality spread throughout the nation, all thanks to a few groups of dedicated countrymen ... who tossed their political leaders out a window.


The Tale Of The Bloody Benders: America's Original Serial Killing Family

The family that slays together, stays together.


That Time The Emperor Of Russia Went Around Shaving Off Everybody's Beards

Be grateful now that you can enjoy a beard without the president shaving it off of you at a party.


Oops, Hamilton Did Own Slaves

He was Venmo-ing his in-laws for people the same way you would for cocktails at brunch.


One Medieval Royal Assassin Had The World's Crappiest Job

A royal ass-assination.


Thomas Edison Invented Christmas Lights as a Publicity Stunt

... which is to say he took someone else’s design and made it a little better.