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Southland was a TNT drama about the lives of a bunch of cops in Los Angeles ... except for the brief, magical moment when it was about Shaquille O'Neal talking about boobs.
It turns out lots of regular schmucks are using the power of vaguely resembling famous people for more than just groping random women on the bow of a pretend ship in a mall food court.
It pains us to inform you that all of those silly and life-affirming Internet stories that distracted from civilization's inexorable march into the void were just the E. coli icing on 2015's cake of turds.