Celebrities, like spies and serial killers, constantly have to protect themselves from people trying to dig into their affairs. They're always one hacked email or leaked sex tape away from being in every late-night host's opening monologue, and that creates the type of vigilance even Batman tips his awkward rubber mask at -- most of the time, anyway.
While the media is constantly looking to catch celebs with their pants down, some of them just walk around with their tighty-whiteys around their ankles without realizing. For example ...
Tom Hardy's MySpace (From Before He Was Famous)
MySpace, much like goth haiku and urban electric jazz ballads, is something from the early 2000s that we've all decided to let go. Though, when we say "decided to let go," what we actually mean is "forgotten still exists and ohmygod I never deleted my account!" Calm down, thirty-somethings; nobody cares enough to dig up some mildly embarrassing pictures from the depths of a digital wasteland. Unless you've become an international superstar in the meanwhile. Like Tom Hardy.
Mad Max: Happy Trail
That man posing for a picture like he's new to online dating is in fact tough-guy actor Tom "Did you just spill my drink" Hardy, who until 2015 had a MySpace page chock full of photos that look like they were pulled from an audition tape for Magic Mike. Here he is apparently auditioning for the porn parody of Bronson, looking less like Gotham's reckoning and more like Stoke-on-Trent's next top model.
This counts as Magnum, P.I. rule 34.
In addition to the pictures, there were also some delightfully juvenile posts, ranging from strange emo poetry ("I am a goldfish walking through a desert") to cooking a turkey ("x I'm cooking a turkey yo x x"). Pretty embarrassing stuff -- or is it? When Hardy was confronted by his past internet sins, he proudly responded that he didn't give a fuck. Hardy declared: "In my tighty-whitey budgie smugglers. In America, they say 'you should be ashamed of this,' but I'm actually not remotely ashamed -- that is me in my natural habitat, thank you." No, thank you, sir.