4 Ways To Shirk Responsibility And Deceive Your Way to Trust
Long-time readers of Cracked have likely noticed a recent shift in tone toward the life affirming and optimistic. The columns that used to be about sex-fighting with clones and transvestite heroes throughout history are suddenly riddled with genuine advice and outstretched hands to readers stumbling into adulthood, into sobriety, into whatever it is Gladstone became.Homeless, maybe? Which is fine, I guess. There is no harm in help. I just wish someone had told me that's what we were doing now. Instead, as John Cheese was commiserating with the browbeaten and DOB taught teenagers how existing works, I was busy getting drunk and threatening to kill turkeys. Meanwhile, a massive disenfranchised chunk or our readership without a fractured childhood or fear of aging had no one to turn to for guidance. So, to those yachts adrift in a sea of rusty boats and refuse, I apologize. I should have offered you a compass sooner. In order to catch up, I've compiled all the helpful secrets I've accrued throughout 29 years of successfully being a human and, unlike the advice of my fellow columnists, these tips are not bound by moral fiber. In fact, most of them are surefire ways to shirk responsibility or trick people into liking you. There are only four, so this should be quick.