14 Fast and Funny Jokes About Fast Food

All beef jokes, special sauce, laughs, cheese, punchlines, onions on a sesame seed bun
14 Fast and Funny Jokes About Fast Food

Fast food is equal parts ridiculous, delicious, hilarious and shameful. It’s not unlike consuming comedy in that many times, it’s a lovely distraction from life but not a substitute for good living. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Then again, comedy and fast-food burgers are both associated with clowns.

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Anyway, here are some of the funniest jokes, bits and sketches surrounding fast food and chain restaurants...

Tom Segura on In-N-Out Burger

“If you’ve never been to In-N-Out, get your fucking life together and go. And I want you to go simply so you experience the most shameful and honest question in all of fast food. As you pull up and go, ‘I’ll have a Double-Double, fries, and a Coke,’ and they go, ‘Will you be eating in the car?’”

Jim Gaffigan on Popeyes Chicken

“My favorite type of fried chicken is Popeyes. I love that name. ‘Oh, I get it. Popeye was a sailor, and your food goes through me like a torpedo.’”

‘Family Guy’ on Why to Never Order a Pizza Place’s Salad

Just get the mozzarella sticks.


Coming to America demonstrates the fine line between fast-food competitors and fast-food copyright infringement.

Roy Wood Jr. on McDonald’s

“This is how delicious McDonald’s is: McDonald’s just recently gave us all-white meat Chicken McNuggets. At no point did we stop to ask what the nuggets were made of before that.”

When Harold and Kumar Finally Got to White Castle

There are few endings to a comedy more hilariously cathartic than when Harold and Kumar got to White Castle in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle.

‘Robot Chicken’ on Burger King

Having your creepy king mascot sneak up on people to hand them sandwiches could lead to deadly results… and great deals on combo meals!

Kyle Kinane on Dominos Pizza

“I thought I had it all figured out for a while there, then I was delivered an unsliced pizza. Everything you believe in just unravels. Everything you hold true. To some people, it sounds like a simple mistake. Not me. I took it personally. I was like, that’s somebody down at Domino’s making a judgment call on my life. That’s somebody seeing my name come up on one too many tickets and finally just being like, ‘Listen, man, we know that you’re probably gonna eat this by yourself. More than likely, all in one sitting too, so… You know what to do, man. Just fold it in half and… bon appétit.’ Just ’cause they were right, I didn’t appreciate the assumption. ‘You don’t know me, Domino’s! Plumph! This giant taco tastes like Italy!’”

‘Family Guy’ on Subway

‘Arrested Development’s Burger King Product Placement

It’s thanks to this very subtle product placement that everyone knows the secret that if you keep your soda cup, you can get a free refill on any drink you want at Burger King (a wonderful restaurant!).

‘Saturday Night Live’ Questions Arby’s Business Model

They have a point. How in the world could Arby’s make money selling five roast beef sandwiches for 10 bucks?

‘The Simpsons’ on ‘McWhat?’

Chief Wiggum and Springfield’s finest discuss a little-known fast-food franchise that’s comparable to Krusty Burger. They even have a different name for Krusty’s Partially Gelatinated Non-Dairy Gum-Based Beverages!

Conan O’Brien Visits Taco Bell

Conan’s I.T. guy on his talk show was such a big fan of Taco Bell that he invited him along to visit Taco Bell headquarters to try some new food items and get their sodium for the day.

Patton Oswalt on KFC Famous Bowls

Oswalt breaks down the mentality that helped create the most monstrous menu item that Kentucky Fried Chicken ever released.

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