13 Hall of Fame Jokes from Hannibal Buress

Stop booing him, you know he’s right
13 Hall of Fame Jokes from Hannibal Buress

You never see Hannibal Buress coming. The comedian has had a multi-decade career as a stand-up comic and comedic actor, with the genius lying in his unassuming nature (despite sharing his first name with an infamous fictional cannibal). Like a comedic Hamburglar, he just steals scenes, whether we’re talking about his cameos in Spider-Man movies or playing second banana on The Eric Andre Show. Meanwhile, on stage, Buress can pair the mundane with the uncomfortable, like an apple juice sale causing him to temporarily forget about racism, or break the taboo dam about Bill Cosby.

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

Given all of this, we present some of the funniest moments in his career for our Hall of Fame...

On Rats

“I think when you see a rat, that’s a dude, right? Rats are dudes; that’s a dude trait to be a rat. That’s all dude stuff. Rats are dudes no matter what; unless it’s giving birth right there, then alright, that’s a lady rat. Though it could be a dude rat pulling an elaborate prank.”

On Progress

“When people go through something rough in life, they say, ‘I’m taking it one day at a time.’ Yes, so is everybody. Because that’s how time works.”

When He Shook Hands with Jimmy Carter

On Conan, Hannibal shared the story of when he was on the same flight with former President Jimmy Carter and how he was disgusted to shake his hand (and not because of politics).

On His Health

“I’m in awful shape. I’m trying to get in better shape. My girlfriend, she’s in good shape. She gives me health tips sometimes, like, ‘Hannibal, you’re going to die.’ Stuff like that.”

On Interracial Internet Porn

“Any time there is an interracial scene between a Black guy and a white woman, there’s always racist comments: ‘Fucking n****rs are fucking our white women.’ Dude, are you seriously being racist and masturbating at the same time?”

As Coach Wilson in ‘Spider-Man: Homecoming’

Listen, it’s required by the state. Don’t @ him.

On Facebook High School Connections

“I got a message on Facebook saying, ‘Hey man, let me know next time you have a show in Chicago. I don’t remember you being funny in high school; I’m curious.’ I said, ‘Hey man, I don’t remember you at all.’”

On Arguments with Taxi Drivers

“I get into arguments with taxi drivers all the time. I get out of the cab and slam the door, but that’s not the way to win an argument with a taxi driver. The way to win is you get out of the cab and leave the door open. Then he has to get out, come around and close the door. While he’s doing that, I’m on the other side, opening the other doors. And we just keep going around and around and around. And I got my own Benny Hill situation going on, and I won.”

On Napkins and Self Confidence

“Whenever I eat at a restaurant, I never put the napkin on my lap. And people say, ‘Hannibal, why don’t you put the napkin on your lap?’ Because I believe in myself. I believe in my ability to not spill food on my pants because I’m an adult!”

As Lincoln in ‘Broad City’

Buress ate every scene he was in as Lincoln, Ilana’s friend/occasional open-boyfriend, dropping tremendous ideas and insights.

Pickle Juice

When He Went to a PETA Protest

For his Comedy Central show Why? With Hannibal Buress, Buress interviewed folks representing PETA regarding their views and brought in some hilarious insight and interesting results.

‘Why Are You Booing Me? I’m Right!’

As the sidekick on The Eric Andre Show, Buress was able to shine with non-sequiturs and sniper-like comments throughout the series. However, while all of them are funny, this perfect moment has been turned into memes and GIFs for immaculate internet reply use over the years.

Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?