The point is, sex is a bigger part of taxi driving than you think. I'm frequently asked to take someone to a "rub and tug" parlor, and I can't count how many times a guy's had me drive him to a bikini barista stand just so his wife won't see his car there.
Pictured: a bikini barista stand. Welcome to Washington!
One of the weirdest experiences I've had was with one couple that got into my cab wearing trenchcoats and nothing else (as I would soon learn). They told me to get on the highway "and just drive" while they proceeded to do nature's work in the backseat. When they were done, they thanked me, because I'd facilitated an experience they'd always wanted to try.
I know people have their fetishes, but taxi cabs are apparently way more erotic than I ever could have anticipated. I have seen lots of tits (mostly aimed in my direction to get the fare forgiven, but sorry, I can't pay my rent with boobs), tons of guys getting blown, and far more handjobs than I care to remember. I've even had a few guys start jacking off for no apparent reason, which I guess also qualifies as a handjob. Taxi cabs are the bathhouses of the modern age. Either that, or I've been vastly underestimating my own raw, sexual magnetism for my entire life.
Jack Hollingsworth/Photodisc/Getty Images
"I'm only crossing the street, but damn, look at his jawline."