13 Straight Fire Jokes About the Heat
We’re at the peak of summer, and the heat is on. Young, old, rich, poor, everyone has felt the habitual hotness engulfing our bodies, causing sweat to pour from them and drying our skin into pork rinds. And if it’s not the weather, heat from fire and food can screw up your hair, your mouth and your life in general.
While it doesn’t cool you down any quicker, though, a joke about the heat can at least distract you from it. Here are some of the best jokes and moments that will beat the heat, or at least amuse you long enough for you to find a cool solution...
Sunbathing Differences Between Men and Women
According to Jack Whitehall, when a woman sees someone falling asleep in the heat, they do the right thing and wake them up. But when men see their buds do the same thing, it’s an opportunity for pranks.
Hot Weather Makes Dean Edwards Question Himself
“By two or three days in 100-degree weather, I realize I am African-American, right? I’m not pure-blood African; I’m a watered-down strain of African. My people must have been from the shaded part of Africa or something.”
The First Warm Day of the Year
Saturday Night Live poked fun at the times in which New York becomes unseasonably warm and how all the summer characters appear early in Central Park.
Paige Weldon’s Sunscreen Obsession
Key & Peele Heat Reveal
What could be two men ogling over a sunbathing woman on a hot day could actually just be a sunny day full of epiphanies.
‘A Black Lady Sketch Show’s Strictly Frizzness
The women behind A Black Lady Sketch Show demonstrate how dry heat, humid heat and all heat can impact a Black woman’s hair in Mortal Kombat-like fashion.
Timothy Olyphant Dresses for the Heat on ‘Conan’
Olyphant was told to “dress appropriately” for the talk show and showed up on set wearing his go-to heatwave clothing. Conan and Andy complained, but fans of the handsome Olyphant didn’t protest seeing more of him.
Roy Wood Jr. Rallies Against Flamin’ Hot Snacks
“Do you know what spicy cereal is? Soup!”
Taking Your Shirt Off on a Hot Day
If it’s a hot day, sometimes you just want to take your shirt off to enjoy the sun on your shoulders, body insecurities be damned.
A Heatwave Hits Springfield
What Other Stuff the Heat Could Do to Two-Face
Robot Chicken looks into what would happen if the Batman villain Two-Face continued to have other heated, face-scalding incidents. Weird, but drinking hot chocolate does seem like a nice third alternative to just living or dying though.
Bill Tull’s Budget Summer Tips
On Conan, the show’s propmaster Bill Tull had a lot of great tips on how to enjoy the hot weather season while saving money.
Jim Gaffigan on Vegas’ Signature High Temps
“Last summer, I was in Las Vegas, and it was 114 degrees. You can actually hear the sun at that point. It didn’t feel safe. I was like, ‘Are we supposed to be here?’ Thermostats don’t even go up that high; meat thermometers do!”