The Best Billboards from the ‘Futurama’ Intro

‘Bachelor Chow: Makes Its Own Gravy’

Bachelor Chow, the future’s disgusting food product for disgusting men, can be seen in at least two billboards in the opening credits. One brags that it “makes its own gravy,” and another proclaims, “Now with flavor!” Of course, we’d later see Fry chow down on a bowl because, you know, he’s Fry.

‘Girls, Girls, Aliens’

Presumably some sort of futuristic strip club — but notably not the futuristic strip club populated by naked robots.

‘Flesh-o-Poid Dating Service’

While we don’t get any more info on the Flesh-o-Poid Dating Service in the show, it sounds pretty horrifying. But could it really be any more horrifying than our current real-life dating services?

‘‘Mass Hypnosis Hour’: TV’s #1 Show!’

We briefly see shows like The Scary Door, but never the apparently popular Mass Hypnosis Hour — we can only imagine that it either evolved into or was in direct competition with Everybody Loves Hypnotoad.

‘Got Protoplasm?’

Cows are extinct in the 31st century, but the “Got Milk?” slogan survives in a new, more dystopian form. 

‘Sexatorium’

Presumably, thanks to those notoriously prudish network censors, we never got to see the Futurama gang visit whatever the Sexatorium is — a narrative gap we can only imagine has been filled by several thousand pieces of slash fiction. 

‘DEF-CON: Kills Owls Dead’

Billboards for DEF-CON brand owl traps are our first hint that owls are the most undesirable pest of the future.

‘Rent-a-Human’ and ‘Tasty Human Burgers’

We’ve mentioned before that Futurama contains an elaborate alien language that fans were able to translate — doing so reveals that several billboards advertise services for extraterrestrials in New New York to rent/consume human beings. Thank you, President Nixon. 

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter (if it still exists by the time you’re reading this).