It became pretty clear over the last year that Lori Loughlin, known to the millennial population as Aunt Becky, was going to have to be written off Netflix's Full House revival. She was facing down massively weird fraud charges, and if she went to jail, they couldn't just pull a different Becky and tap in another actress. When Netflix dropped the second half of Fuller House's final season this week, they revealed their solution: sending Aunt Becky to Nebraska to "help her mother" with some vague and unexplained situation.
Nobody expects masterful attention to detail on the show that botched the genetic makeup of its family to potentially disturbing levels, but suffice it to say that this explanation doesn't hold up. What kind of person just leaves their family for months on end to hang out halfway across the country (especially when their husband is John Stamos, to whom most women would bodily apply themselves like wallpaper)? These people are so rich. She couldn't fly home for the weekend every now and then? Or just hired a nurse? If not, why wouldn't Jesse go with her? People don't just take season-long breaks from their spouses for good reasons. This also happened during the time when the girls to whom she'd been a mother figure in their youth were planning an insane triple wedding. She was cool with not being around for any of that? Or even going to the wedding?
Something's definitely fishy here. Is Aunt Becky herself on the lam? Did she get caught hauling the impressive stockpiles of cocaine that keep her so perky and hot across state lines? Did she leave Jesse? Did he kill her? He totally killed her, didn't he? Now that the show is over, maybe they can explore these possibilities with a similarly house-pun-themed spinoff series (Full Jailhouse?), or crossover with Orange Is The New Black. You're welcome, Netflix.Top image: Netflix