Interested in getting into the plot of the Metal Gear Solid series? We'll try to help, though we're not sure if that's actually possible. What we can sure do, however, is help our readers laugh at a curated list of the most bonkers moments of this glorious franchise.

The main character has a twin brother who got all of his good genes

Konami

The villain from the original Metal Gear Solid, Liquid Snake, has a bonkers motivation. He hates his brother Solid Snake because the cloning procedure that gave them both life supposedly funneled all the good genes to Solid Snake and caused Liquid to get all the “spoiled” ones. Twins starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito is a great film, but its grasp of genetics probably isn't strong enough to serve as the basis of your sci-fi video game epic.

Spoilers: In the end, we learn that Liquid actually was the one who got the good genes.

Snake actually helps the bad guys win in MGS1

Konami

Snake was tricked into helping the bad guys in the original MGS because activating the Metal Gear required a gadget only Snake knew how to use. Staying home and taking a nap would've resulted in fewer deaths at the end of the day. 

Snake has a clone who used to be the president of the United States

Konami

Despite looking older than Snake, Solidus Snake is a younger clone of the same legendary super soldier, Big Boss. Oh, he was also president of the United States during the events of the original Metal Gear Solid. Solid Snake never jokes about looking like the president of the United States, so we're guessing he's just not much of a TV guy.

MGS2 replaced the main character without telling anyone

Konami

Solid Snake immediately became one of the most popular characters in video game history after his appearance in the original Metal Gear Solid. The easiest bet would be to just continue his story in MGS2, so Kojima replaced him with an unknown character. Nobody liked the change so Kojima waited for everyone to forget about it and did a sneakier version of the same thing in MGSV. 

MGS2 features a gadget that renders all enemy fire useless

Konami

Ocelot owns a gadget capable of rendering any enemy weapon useless – even those shot by a Metal Gear. This world-changing gadget later vanishes from the series and absolutely no explanation is given.

MGS2's cut content parallels 9/11

Konami

MGS2 from 2001 nearly featured a scene where a massive ship crashes into New York City. They managed to delete that scene before release but we still know about it. Interesting parallels – the attack and the cover-up.

The villain from the original game lives inside another villain's arm

Konami

The most infamous plot twist in the entire series reveals that Ocelot got possessed by the new arm he received in MGS2. The obvious backlash had Kojima later retconning the whole thing and saying Ocelot was making up the entire thing to get in character. Just a prank, BROTHER!

Kojima wanted Big Boss to be trained by a nazi

Konami

The main character from MGS3 is called Big Boss, the legendary soldier who'd later get cloned to make Solid, Liquid, and Solidus Snake. In the original canon, Big Boss was trained by a woman called The Boss (yes, Kojima respects his placeholders so much he never comes up with real names), but in the original draft, Big Boss was trained by “Old Boy”, a goddamn nazi.

That character then got turned into the most hilarious boss ever

Konami

After the nazi character got cut, the remnants of his design were used to create “The End”, an old ass sniper who can die of old age if we set the game's clock to 10 days in the future.

In MGSV, our hot sidekick doesn't like clothes because she breathes through her skin

Konami

As soon as we got to see Quiet, our clothes-hating sniper partner in MGSV,  people started complaining about Kojima's sexual objectification of women. Kojima replied that there was a good reason for her to be like that and that players would feel sad when they finally uncovered that mystery. He was wrong. The reason Quiet has to be nearly naked all the time is that a condition forces her to breathe through her skin. We applaud the high-level contortionism.

MGSV has a deleted scene where we shoot a kid

Konami

Ok, we don't shoot him in the head but originally there was a scene in which Snake got conveniently colorblind and accidentally shot a kid because of that. Does that mean he was ok with shooting enemies wearing the opposing team's colors? We don't know and we don't have to because that scene got cut.

The most powerful metal gear was the first of them all

Konami

Even though MGSV takes place before the events of every entry in the series except MGS3, Kojima said screw it and made the version of the giant mech that the bad guys use in the '80s visibly more advanced than any of its successors.

Raiden stops a ship with his arms

Konami

That's it, just one malfunctioning cyborg who's able to stop a massive warship to prevent Snake from getting crushed by it. Why didn't he just get Snake out of the way? Because Kojima thought this looked cooler.

The villain from MGS4 gains control of every weapon on the planet

Konami

This is funny because this is the same guy who owned the tech that rendered enemy weapons useless. We guess this is Kojima's way of telling us not to connect our weapons to an AI system.

All the characters introduced in the previous game all get killed

Konami

MGSV was the direct sequel to a PSP game, so instead of reintroducing these characters that had shown up out of nowhere, they just decided to kill them off right at the start of the game. We get it, but then why does MGSV then go through the trouble of telling us one of them was raped between games?

The series ends with Snake's first love interest falling in love with a guard from the first game

Konami

His name is Johnny Sasaki and his special power is the ability to never stop pooping his pants. Roll Credits. Best series ever.

 

Top Image: Konami

Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter

Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!

Forgot Password?