Jetpacks, Felonies And Other 'Jingle All The Way' Questions Cleared Up By The Director

We spoke to 'Jingle All The Way' director Brian Levant about all things Arnold and Turbo Man.

Authors: By JM McNab
Published: December 09, 2022
Comments: 0

How A Haircut Proves A Murderer's Innocence (VIDEO)

HAIR POWER

Authors: By CRACKED Staff
Published: December 09, 2022
Comments: 1

All the Penises in Modern Art Are Too Huge, Says Science

A new study says artists have really been going whole hog the last 50 years

Authors: By Lauren Vinopal
Published: December 09, 2022
Comments: 4

Your Cousin Isn’t Oversharing on Facebook, He’s ‘Sad-Fishing’

That’s not a social media post, it’s emotional blackmail

Authors: By Lauren Vinopal
Published: December 09, 2022
Comments: 0

PICTOFACT

15 Hilariously Interesting Things The TSA Has Confiscated Recently

Believe it or not, the TSA can see through a chicken carcass.

Authors: By Andres Diplotti, Andrea Meno
Published: December 09, 2022
Comments: 0

15 Jokes For The Hall Of Fame

By:: JD Roberson

June 29, 2022

It’s that time again, 15 more jokes are caught in the wild, killed, stuffed, and mounted in the Comedy Hall Of Fame. Not all jokes are worthy of the Hall of Fame, but for those who are, watch your backs. Here is this week's nod to 15 pieces of comedy gold.

15 Jerry Seinfeld

"Proof that we don't understand death is that we give dead people a pillow."

14 Patton Oswalt

Patton Oswalt's bit about the KFC Famous Bowl; The wet dog food of the fast-food community.

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13 Jim Gaffigan

"I can't believe we're still giving clothing as a gift. Cause whenever you get clothing as a present, you always open it up and you think, 'Not even close.' And the person that gives it is always like, 'You can take it back if you don't like it.' 'That's alright. I'll just throw it out.' Don't give me an errand."

12 Buddy Hackett

“The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you’re off it.”

11 Doug Benson

Doug realizes the power he holds when he starts directing the crane operator on how to move the camera jib for his special.

10 Dave Barry

“Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.”

9 Norm Macdonald

Norm Macdonald’s turtle joke from a 1996 Conan appearance, also includes an explanation of the joke directly after.

8 Bill Bailey

“I’m a vegetarian. I’m not strict; I eat fish, and duck. Well, they’re nearly fish, aren’t they? They’re semi-submerged a lot of the time, they spend a lot of time in the water, they’re virtually fish, really. And pigs, cows, sheep, anything that lives near water, I’m not strict. I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.”

7 Fred Armisen

Fred Armisen showcases his talent for doing every American accent state by state in his special, Standup For Drummer.

6 Josie Long

“‘What’s a couple?’ I asked my mum. She said, ‘Two or three’. Which probably explains why her marriage collapsed.”

5 Robin Williams

Robin: “I’ll tell you what I’m going to do with this stick, I’m going to give it to you.”

Elmo: “Whoa. Thank you, Mr. Robins.”

Robin: “Mr. Robins? I’m taking the stick back, Elmo.”

In this collection of outtakes from Sesame Street, Robin Williams improvises some great jokes with just a stick and a puppet.

4 Stewart Francis

“My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.’”

3 Tim Heidecker

Tim Heidecker’s special, An Evening With Tim Heidecker is a pretty meta act, considering the entire point of the show is for Tim to tell the worst jokes possible. Tim puts on a persona of a terrible hack stand-up comic for the entire hour set, and even adds some crowd work to his arsenal.