It’s that time again, 15 more jokes are caught in the wild, killed, stuffed, and mounted in the Comedy Hall Of Fame. Not all jokes are worthy of the Hall of Fame, but for those who are, watch your backs. Here is this week's nod to 15 pieces of comedy gold.

Jim Gaffigan

Jim Gaffigan

Netflix

"I can't believe we're still giving clothing as a gift. Cause whenever you get clothing as a present, you always open it up and you think, 'Not even close.' And the person that gives it is always like, 'You can take it back if you don't like it.' 'That's alright. I'll just throw it out.' Don't give me an errand."

Bill Bailey

“I’m a vegetarian. I’m not strict; I eat fish, and duck. Well, they’re nearly fish, aren’t they? They’re semi-submerged a lot of the time, they spend a lot of time in the water, they’re virtually fish, really. And pigs, cows, sheep, anything that lives near water, I’m not strict. I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.”

Robin Williams

Robin: “I’ll tell you what I’m going to do with this stick, I’m going to give it to you.”

Elmo: “Whoa. Thank you, Mr. Robins.”

Robin: “Mr. Robins? I’m taking the stick back, Elmo.”

In this collection of outtakes from Sesame Street, Robin Williams improvises some great jokes with just a stick and a puppet. 

Tim Heidecker

Tim Heidecker’s special, An Evening With Tim Heidecker is a pretty meta act, considering the entire point of the show is for Tim to tell the worst jokes possible. Tim puts on a persona of a terrible hack stand-up comic for the entire hour set, and even adds some crowd work to his arsenal.

Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers

Comedy Central

“If God wanted me to bend over, he’d have put diamonds on the floor.”

For exclusive ComedyNerd content and more, subscribe to our spiffy newsletter:

Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter

Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!

Top Image: NBC

Tags

Forgot Password?