'Spider-Man: No Way Home's' Tony Revolori Answers 22 Extremely Dumb Questions

"You were in the movie The Long Dumb Road. What is the longest, dumbest, road you’ve ever walked, biked, or driven down?"
'Spider-Man: No Way Home's' Tony Revolori Answers 22 Extremely Dumb Questions

After a long wait, Spider-Man: No Way Home is finally swinging into theaters. To celebrate, Cracked is doing a deep dive into the pop-culture web that our friendly neighborhood wall-crawler has spun for almost six decades. Check the previous installments here:

The Most Amazing Thing About Spider-Man (Is That He Even Exists)

How Sam Raimi's 'Spider-Man' Changed Everything

Spidey's Bonkers '60s Cartoon All The Spider-Man Memes Came From

How 'Spider-Man: The Animated Series' Got It All Right

Miles Morales Succeeded Where Other Spider-Man Successors Failed

Emo Spider-Man's Defense: How 'Spider-Man 3' Dared Make Power Uncool

The ‘Amazing Spider-Man’ Movies Saved (And Killed) the Franchise

'Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark' - The Wall-Crawler's Broadway Bomb

We're also giving away a year-long subscription to Marvel Unlimited. Learn more here, or add your email below to enter.

Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter

Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!

The day is finally here. After spending the past year and change parkouring through spoilers and observing Andrew Garfield's slow descent into madness after being repeatedly asked if he and Tobey Maguire will reprise their respective roles as Peter Parker in the MCU multiverse, Spider-Man: No Way Home finally hit the big screen today. In honor of this momentous Marvel occasion, I annoyed my dear friend Tony Revolori – a.k.a the actor behind the MCU's Flash Thompson – by asking him 22 of the dumbest questions I could possibly think of. From his favorite explanation for the Fermi Paradox to what happened to his tiny “Lobby Boy” hat from The Grand Budapest Hotel, here's what Tony had to say – because as we all know, movie stars have literally nothing better to do than write regret-fueled haikus and design breakfast cereal mascots. 

This (spoiler-free) interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.

Cracked: You were in the movie The Long Dumb Road. What is the longest, dumbest, road you’ve ever walked, biked, or driven down?

Tony Revolori: Drove in Malvern, Pennsylvania and they had some of the dumbest roads with lights that never changed even if no one but you were there.

C: How do you grout a shower?

TR: Go on YouTube, write that question in, and then follow instructions. It’s fool-proof.

C: Weirdest fan fiction plot you’ve ever seen featuring yourself?

TR: Hahahaha. Seen a lot of NSFW ones. But Google is your friend. Enjoy!

C: Describe, in detail, a time in which you woke up at 3 am to the sound of the George Lopez theme song.

TR: Sadly that hasn’t happened..... yet.

C: Favorite existential crisis?

TR: There being no toilet paper after you’ve already sat on the toilet.

C: What’s an interview question you wish someone would ask?

TR: "Why do you love film cameras and watches?”

C: Why do you love film cameras and watches?

TR: Because they’re so cool. Watches are fashionable in every occasion. And film cameras, I love for the idea that you get ... one shot. One opportunity. To seize everything you ever wanted. Would you capture it? Or just let it slip.

C: Do you ever get recognized for your groundbreaking work as “Son” in Entourage circa 2007?

TR: Actually... hahaha when that episode came out I did. And was almost in the movie to reprise my role. 

C: Fill in the first lyric that comes to mind — “Shawty …”

TR: “It’s your birthday, we gonna party like it’s your birthday.”

C: Tell Us Now: Can you get the entire Cracked staff on Raya?

TR: No, sorry :(.

C: Favorite fun fact?

TR: Dolphins wingman their fellow dolphin bros.

C: You were in the movie Please Stand By. What was the longest time you’ve ever waited in line OR been placed on hold? Was it actually worth it?

TR: Waited an hour for SUGARFISH (a sushi restaurant in Los Angeles) and it was very, very worth it. 

C: Favorite explanation for the Fermi paradox?

TR: They’re just as lazy as us so they don’t wanna bother with us -- or they’ve seen our reality TV.

C: My boss wanted me to ask you this — did you get to keep the little hat from The Grand Budapest Hotel?

TR: No.

C. Make your own Lana Del Rey song by filling in the blanks: “___ is a dangerous thing for a  ______ like me to have, but I have it.”

TR: “Pizza” then “boy.”

C: Write a haiku about this impromptu interview and/or any topic of your choosing

TR: How do you convince

Me to do this type of thing?

Though regret, not today.

C: How do we *actually* pronounce Saoirse Ronan?

TR: “Sersha” like “inertia.”

C: Favorite breakfast cereal mascot that doesn’t exist yet?

TR: A regular dude who’s really tired from work coming home and sitting having a beer as the mascot for life cereal.

C: How did you get into character to play the world’s first sentient dolphin with free will on the children's show OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes?

TR: Wasn’t the first, and honestly? I watched Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy's opening scene.

C: If you could request any government document through the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA), what would it be?

TR: Maybe, a document that transparently tell you what the government is spending our taxes on. 

C: Why am I, Carly Tennes, the voice of our generation?

TR: Because you’re basically Murphy’s law. ‘Anything that can go wrong. Will’ and you love memes.

Top Image: Sony Pictures

For more internet nonsense, follow Carly on Instagram @HuntressThompson_ on TikTok as @HuntressThompson_, and on Twitter @TennesAnyone.

For more Cracked deep dives, be sure to check out:

‘90S WEEK:

In The 1990s, The Simpsons Were A Danger To America

The '90s Officially Turned Gaming Into A Pop-Culture Fixture

How '90s Superhero Cartoons Prepared Us For The 'Cinematic Universe' Era Facebook Twitter Pinterest

The '90s 'Star Wars' Special Editions Kicked Off The Never-Finished Movie Era

3 Ways 90s Internet Changed Everything

MCU WEEK:

The 'Avengers' Comic That Basically Created The Modern Superhero Movie

Why Marvel Studios Is Branching Out Beyond Superheroes-- Sort Of

Marvel's Long And Confusing Path To Figuring Out Television

How Marvel Handles 'Black Panther' Is A Heartbreaking Task

All of the New Marvel Characters Getting Set Up In Phase 4

The Long, Stupid Road To A Watchable ‘Fantastic 4’ Movie

SUPERMAN WEEK:

4 Reasons Anyone Who Says 'Superman Is A Boring Superhero' Is Full Of It

4 Reasons O.G. Superman Is Even More Relevant Today

5 Superman Stories That Are Canon Kryptonite

4 Ways 'Death Of Superman' (Accidentally) Changed Pop Culture

4 Superman Movie Scenes That Were Dumb AF In Retrospect

JOKER WEEK:

The Early Obstacles On Joker's Path To Comic Icon

Why Do We Even Have Batman Movies Today? The Joker.

No One Was Ready For Mark Hamill's Joker ... Least Of All Mark Hamill

 That Time DC Comics Turned The Joker Into David Bowie

A Dark Knight's Tale: How Heath Ledger Created A 21st Century Joker

The Weird Confusing Tale Of The Most 'Huh?' Movie Joker: Jared Leto

'Joker' Made A Billion Dollars, And That's Too Much Money To Ignore

Tags:

Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?