For all of humanity's moxie, optimism, and drive to build a better future, a lot of us spend an extraordinary amount of time imagining how we're going to snuff it en masse. This modern-day parlor game has created armies of "armchair survivalists" -- people who aren't really motivated to do anything proactive to save their own skins, but are really committed to DVRing television shows about preppers prepping. We've become pretty good at imagining what we might do in a variety of apocalyptic events -- if we weren't too lazy to live.
There are plenty of humanity-ending scenarios where there's a relative consensus for the best place to ride it out. Zombie outbreak? Shopping mall. New Ice Age? New York Public Library, Stephen A. Schwarzman Building. Kingdom of spiders? Hunting lodge by Shatner's side. Mayan apocalypse rain date? John Cusack's limo.
Here are a few still up for debate.
Scientists and their sciencing never really seem to be restrained by logical paranoia. No, it's just a bunch of thoughtless enthusiasm, like "Cool! Can't wait to dick around with these Mars rocks covered in an unknown substance!" or "Oh, hey, let's drink this 2-billion-year-old water."
The fact of the matter is that some kind of horrible space virus wiping out mankind is far more plausible than our relative lack of hysteria about it implies. Hospitals are already struggling with antibiotic-resistant infections, and this is bacteria we've been around the block with for thousands of years. What hope do we have against hostile microbes that rode an asteroid from the Andromeda Galaxy during velociraptor time and have been napping in ice chunks for millennia? Particularly since brainiacs keep defrosting them in relative secret?
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"No, I haven't seen The Thing. Why do you ask?"
Our only hope is simple -- Corey Feldman's "Feldmansion." We've covered Corey and his scrappy party palace/temple to Corey Feldman before. It seems to be very similar to Redman's crib, except multi-leveled and full of questionable women, but devoid of a useful fridge-top dollar box. And his music video for "Ascension Millennium" seems like he's got his finger on the pulse of the end of man's pulse.