The 6 Most Terrifying Foods in the World
Humans are like goats. We'll eat any damned thing. Just ask the people who make PowerBars.
In fact, you'll find foods in this world that don't even seem possible. Not just that they could exist, but that people would actually stick this stuff in their mouths without a gun to their head.
We've found six dishes that seemed to have sprung from Satan's own cookbook.
#6.
Escamoles
From:
Mexico.
What the hell is it?
Escamoles are the eggs of the giant black Liometopum ant, which makes its home in the root systems of maguey and agave plants. Collecting the eggs is a uniquely unpleasant job, since the ants are highly venomous and have some kind of blood grudge against human orifices.
The eggs have the consistency of cottage cheese. The most popular way to eat them is in a taco with guacamole, while being fucking insane.
Wait, it gets worse ...
Escamoles have a surprisingly pleasant taste: buttery and slightly nutty. This hugely increases the chances that, while in Mexico, you could eat them without realizing you are eating a taco full of fucking ant eggs.
Danger of this turning up in America:
We're not sure Taco Bell hasn't snuck this shit into their food already. Just make sure you know what' in that burrito. Ask at the counter if you have to. Also, watch those ads close because they'll try to dress it up in some kind of friendly-sounding, pseudo-Mexican name.
#5.
Casu Marzu
From:
Sardinia, Italy.
What the hell is it?
This, dear reader, is a medium-sized lump of Sweet Fucking Christ. Casu Marzu is a sheep' milk cheese that has been deliberately infested by a Piophila casei, the "cheese fly." The result is a maggot-ridden, weeping stink bomb in an advanced state of decomposition.
Its translucent larvae are able to jump about 6 inches into the air, making this the only cheese that requires eye protection while eating. The taste is strong enough to burn the tongue, and the larvae themselves pass through the stomach undigested, sometimes surviving long enough to breed in the intestine, where they attempt to bore through the walls, causing vomiting and bloody diarrhea.
Wait, it gets worse ...
This cheese is a delicacy in Sardinia, where it is illegal. That' right. It is illegal in the only place where people actually want to eat it. If this does not communicate a very clear message, perhaps the larvae will, as they leap desperately toward your face in an effort to escape the putrescent horror of the only home they have ever known. Even the cheese itself is ashamed; when prodded, it weeps an odorous liquid called lagrima, Sardinian for "tears."
Danger of this turning up in America:
There is significant danger here, as we're thinking the cheese companies have a lot of maggot stock in the back of their warehouse they'd like to get rid of. And, there may actually be a market for it. Self-loathing is a powerful force in this economy (see the diet section of your local supermarket) and there' times you get low enough that, damn it, you feel like you deserve nothing better than infested cheese.
#4.
Lutefisk
From:
Norway.
What the hell is it?
Ahhh, Lutefisk. After the larvae-ridden cheese, it's a blessed relief to sample a clean, down-to-earth Scandinavian recipe.
A little too clean.
Lutefisk is a traditional Norwegian dish featuring cod that has been steeped for many days in a solution of lye, until its flesh is caustic enough to dissolve silver cutlery.
Wait, it gets worse ...
For those of you who don't know, lye (potassium hydroxide/sodium hydroxide) is a powerful industrial chemical used for cleaning drains, killing plants, de-budding cow horns, powering batteries and manufacturing biodiesel. Contact with lye can cause chemical burns, permanent scarring, blindness or total deliciousness, depending on whether you pour it onto a herring or your own face. Or, so the lutefisk industry would have us believe.
Danger of this turning up in America:
IT'S ALREADY HERE! Shit!
It' true, lutefisk is more popular in the United States than in Norway. What the hell are they doing with it? They're not eating it are they? Is it because it' a cheap alternative to colonic irrigation? Seriously, how do you advertise this stuff?
#3.
Baby Mice Wine
From:
Korea.
What the hell is it?
What better to wash down your gelatinous lumps of lye fish than a nice chilled cup of dead mice? What better indeed.
Baby mice wine is a traditional Chinese and Korean "health tonic," which apparently tastes like raw gasoline. Little mice, eyes still closed, are plucked from the embrace of their loving mothers and stuffed (while still alive) into a bottle of rice wine. They are left to ferment while their parents wring their tiny mouse paws in despair, tears drooping sadly from the tips of their whiskers.
Wait, it gets worse ...
Do you wince at the thought of swallowing a tequila worm? Imagine how you'd feel during a session on this bastard. Whoops, I swallowed a dead mouse! Whoops, there goes another one! Whoops, I just puked my entire body out of my nose!
Danger of this turning up in America:
Who are you going to find in America that' OK with drinking dead fetus juice as a way to improve their own health? OK, other than lawyers.
#2.
Pacha
From:
Iraq.
What the hell is it?
Of all the dishes, this is the one most likely to be mistaken for a threatening message from the mob. It' a sheep' head. Boiled.
Wait, it gets worse ...
Pacha only reveals its terror gradually. Sure, maybe you can get around the fact that you're eating face. But, the more you eat it, the more bone is revealed, until you give a final burp and set your cutlery down beside a grinning ivory skull. Its hollow eye sockets stare back at you with a look of grim damnation. "Burp while ye may," the sockets say, "for the same fate will happen to you--and all too soon."
We wonder why the Iraqis keep blowing themselves up? Wouldn't you, if every evening meal was a festival of death?
Danger of this turning up in America:
Not looking like that, it won't. But, you tell people that sheep head contains some kind of enzyme that boosts your metabolism and ...
#1.
Balut
From:
The Philippines
What the hell is it?
Behold, for our journey of horror reaches its destination. Balut are duck eggs that have been incubated until the fetus is all feathery and beaky, and then boiled alive. The bones give the eggs a uniquely crunchy texture.
Wait, it gets worse ...
... Because you're never going to look at an egg the same way. Tell yourself that every time you crack open an egg from now on you won't be half expecting a leathery wad of bird to come flopping out into the skillet.
Yes, balut is upsetting on about a half-dozen levels. Sure, all meat eaters know on some level that the delicious chop on your plate used to belong to something cute and fluffy, which gambolled in the sun during the brief spring of its life. Most of the time, it' perfectly possible not to give a shit. But, when you're biting into something that hasn't even had a chance to see its mother' face ... well, it' different.
Danger of this turning up in America:
Actually, marketed properly, these eggs could be a damn good motivator. When you've looked death in the face at breakfast time, what the hell else can the day throw at you?
I had finished putting some food into my body just 10 minutes ago. The food left when I reached the end of this article.
ReplyI had traditional mansaf with a sheep head on it in Jordan, and let me let you, that s**t was delicious. I don't mean it was just better than I expected, I expected it to taste like ass so that wouldn't have meant much, it was actually good. Anyone who's ever tried cheek meat will tell you its one of the best parts of an animal.
ReplyEscamoles actually sound delicious.
ReplyYou actually made Lutfisk, the most bland, boring piece of Scandinavian cuisine possible, sound badass.
ReplySeriosly, Swedes eat it only at yule, and only out of obligation/tradition.
It is a gelatinous, bony sludge which needs to be peeled of it´s leathery skin before eaten, and covered in melted butter, allspice and sauce to actually taste like anything at alls.
The plain boiled winter potatoes it is served with are a greater taste sensation.
It is good the duck has died. Ducks are EVIL! So very evil..... Auuuugghhh.
ReplyEating animal heads is pretty well spread. Pacha in Bulgaria is usually made from pigs' feet and everybody claims it's delicious. Never tried it though.
Reply"caustic enough to dissolve silver cutlery"
Replydamn, I should stop drinking water, all this time I was probably poisoning myself, after all, water does rust and destroy f*****g iron! and there's also carbonated water that contains CARBONIC ACID! the same acid that melts through metal and can cause serious chemical burns if you even touch it for a second, and it can melt away entire limbs if you put your hand in a container filled with acid!
I've tried lutefisk and all I really got from the experience was a very jello-like texture... the closest I can get to describing it is unflavored gelatin because it tasted like absolutely *nothing.* And not even kidding the side was bacon-flavored kale and the lutefisk itself was literally covered in butter.
ReplyThe bacon/kale was very good though ^_^
so much of that information was wrong.. I looked up 2 of those foods, the cheese one and the duckling one. The cheese one - that family of larvae don't live through digestion.. they are also quite commonly killed before consumption, and even removed... the reason why sometimes they eat them alive is because if the larvae are dead, it means the cheese is too damaged to eat safely, and I guess for some its a hassle to kill them.. but plenty do do it...
ReplyThe duckling thing... actually no... they wait until just before the duckling gets feathers or a beak, and when the bones are tender so they don't crunch... and its usually not boiled alive because once its ready to be cooked, they freeze or refrigerate it so it stays in that state and doesn't grow the feathers and such.. even if it was alive.. it doesn't feel anything, just like when you abort a child at 4 months. "you're biting into something that hasn't even had a chance to see its mother's face" never had eggs before I take it? or caviar? or a fish that had unfertilized eggs inside? It's alright to write an article on strange foods, even if somewhat offensive, but to simply misinform the reader to shock them into continuing to read your work? or even the article itself? What kind of writer are you? That has to make up bullcrap to make his work interesting?
I've actually eaten Balut in the Philippines. With a little salt, it isn't half bad. The texture is kind of weird, and there are really tough parts that are hard to chew through. Personally, I don't think it should be on this list. The other 5 foods were AWFUL, but Balut got #1? C'mon. There are WAY more terrifying dishes around the world. Balut doesn't even come close to being as gross and terrifying as like eating insects, or even eating animals usually considered to be pets. Eating dogs is an atrocity. Looking at you Asia.
ReplyYeah, I have to agree. Technically, I've had Balut before. I have some friends who are from the Philippines, and they got me some Balut to try, but there wasn't an actual fetus inside the egg, it was just like a large chicken egg with a primarily yolky taste. I know that's not really how it's supposed to be, but going by taste alone, I can imagine I'd be able to handle the real thing. The baby mice wine is definitely the grossest, in my mind *shudder*.
Eating tiny, cute baby chickens isn't an atrocity? Or murdering deer, sheep, cows, and other poor critters? Or stealing babies from chickens (eggs) and eating them?
Why would Taco Bell sneak escamoles into their food? They have about as much to do with Mexican food as Super Mario Brothers has to do with plumbing. Or Italy.
ReplyAlso, they're some of the cheapest bastards known to fast food, and I can imagine trying to get their hands on escamoles would cost way too much money for them. No, they use what's plentiful here in America...nasty, ground-up, sick cow bits full of E. Coli.
My Norwegian uncle ears lutefisk every single Christmas. He keeps trying to get me to eat it but for some reason, fish-flavored jello just doesn't appeal to me.
ReplyKæstur Hákarl? Anyone? Anyone?
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesI tried Google and Wiki and go nothing. What is it?
Kæstur hákarl, putrefied Greenland shark. Or how about Súrsaðir hrútspungar; the testicles of rams pressed in blocks, boiled and cured in lactic acid. So many foods, so little stomach left ....
No thanks. Heard it's freakingly poisonous
To be frank, I've lived in Korea all my life and have never come across a bottle of that mice wine. Even the picture in that article shows a distinctly Chinese bottle. It's probably a discarded Korean practice or an ongoing Chinese one or both, but I've never seen it in Korea.
Reply#3 made me lose all faith in humanity.
ReplyIm not from the Philippines but Im not a racist. I love to try new things. But according to my resources and my experience in eating Balut, let me ask you this have you ever taste Balut? and you're saying that is gross? Drinking a mice wine and a dead fetus in juice is okay? Hmm... Come on, you could think better than that.. Maybe u should start tasting it first before degrading.
ReplyTotally with you. Balut is f*****g delicious. Look up "Food Oddities - balut" on youtube to find a 10-year old blond kid eating it for the first time and enjoying the hell out of it.
Im not from the Philippines but Im not a racist. I love to try new things. But according to my resources and my experience in eating Balut, let me ask you this have you ever taste Balut? and you're saying that is gross? Drinking a mice wine and a dead fetus in juice is okay? Hmm... Come on, you could think better than that.. Maybe u should start tasting it first before degrading.
ReplyAll you bloody carnvorous b'tards. You don't realise and feel the same when you bloody eat the meat of other animals calling the bloody delicacy - like the caviar - Oh!! the most delicate and delicious food on earth, the bloody millions of varieties of fish including seafood, oysters, etc. the poor cows, lambs, chicken who all must be definitely crying whenever either they or their chicks, being killed, roasted in the fire, sometimes live and eaten like the the canniballs. come on, you bloody hypocrites, start being a vegetarian or be a vegan and stop killing all the poor living beings for their sake. Make the world a better place to live for every living being.
ReplyPlants aren't living?
No.
You simply dont understand that the world doesnt work that way, its not all sunshine and rainbows. Species kill other species, and thats a good and necessary thing. Not only for consumption, but also as a form of population control and is the major forced driving evolution.
Whether or not other species are subject to horrors or atrocities is irrelevant, as other species arent exactly altruists themselves. Do you think a lion cares that a gazelle is in horrendous pain when it tears out its organs? Do you think a whale cares when it inhales thousands of krill that are probably in futile desperation to escape what might as well be a crushing black hole? Then why should it matter to us? As a species taking part in this long road we call life, why should we hold ourselves to higher standards because our intellect? Shouldnt we instead, as a species, use it to advance ourselves solely for the sake of our own advancement?
The cycle of life of and death is an absolutely necessary lesson every one needs to learn, regardless of whether or not it affects your world view in a positive or negative way.Because either way, death can and will creep its head up to you one of these days, and its best to be prepared physically and psychologically when. Its a kill or be killed world, and as far as Im concerned, Im ready to kill.
damn carnivores.
ReplyScrew you Cracked! Now I have to get a new keyboard. And shirt. Serves me right for reading an article with the words "Terrifying Foods" whilst eating. I'm not going vegan, i'm just quiting food all together.
Reply