Processed meats -- and we mean stuff that has been prepared to last way longer in the package than fresh meat from the butcher, such as hot dogs, sausage, bacon, ham, smoked meats, and the stuff you find in many frozen meals and fast food -- have all kinds of salt and various additives in them. They contain four times more sodium than ordinary red meat, and that's the killer. Those additives account for the link with both coronary heart disease and cardiovascular problems. The high amounts of nitrates, nitrites, and carcinogenic nitrosamines take care of the rest of the list, up to and including obesity -- another ailment red meat is often blamed for.
In short: Red meat doesn't kill you. Processed meat kills you.
"I want to live forever. And if that means strangling cows and eating their raw flesh, so be it."
The problem is that the type of person who eats unprocessed meat -- that is, who buys a hunk of fresh beef from the meat aisle at the grocery store and then throws it on the grill -- is also the type of person who doesn't think twice about eating processed hot dogs, bacon, roast beef sandwiches, etc., even though the difference in health effects between the two is huge.
The difference, of course, is that buying and preparing fresh meat is way, way more expensive than the cheap processed bologna that will make you a week's worth of sandwiches for a couple bucks. But if you're not going to spend money keeping your heart from developing a fatal clog, what are you going to spend it on?
For more bullshit we are happy to debunk for you, check out 5 Ridiculous Medical Myths You Probably Believe and 5 Myths About the Military You Believe (Thanks to Movies).
If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out The New Pizza Hut App That Helps Make Kids Even Lazier.
And stop by LinkSTORM to learn why it's important to always drink your chocolate milk.
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We have some bad news: health foods are trying to give you diabetes, losing weight is all about calories and your favorite book sellers are now taking pre-orders for a text book written and illustrated entirely by the Cracked team! Hitting shelves in October, Cracked's De-Textbook is a fully-illustrated, systematic deconstruction of all of the bullshit you learned in school.
It's loaded with facts about history, your body, and the world around you that your teachers didn't want you to know. And as a bonus? We'll tell you why the Food Pyramid is a triangle of lies.