In WarGames, teenage hacker David Lightman inadvertently triggers WOPR (an AI that controls America's nuclear arsenal) into running a thermonuclear war scenario against NORAD, bringing the world to the brink of atomic destruction. He does this by guessing WOPR's secret backdoor password, put in place by the AI's creator, Professor Falken (the password is "Joshua," the name of Falken's dead son).
Here's a quick breakdown of why everyone involved in WOPR's creation is a cosmic retard:
First, for reasons that cannot be explained, the AI that controls all of the world-ending weapons in the United States can just be dialed up by any antisocial kid searching for games to play on his adorable floppy disk microcomputer. Beyond that, the different war programs WOPR can run are kept in a list alongside actual computer games like chess and backgammon, just waiting for someone to accidentally start them.
"We don't want anyone getting bored in the middle of a war, do we?"
Why does WOPR even have games? It's designed to simulate nuclear war scenarios, and has the ability to launch actual nuclear weapons (for some reason). What military engineer decided that it would be a good idea to throw checkers into the mix? There shouldn't be any bullshit at all on that computer, and moreover all the war scenarios should be labeled with the most unappealing names in the universe so no plucky teenage computer whiz would ever mistakenly run one.
Second, in that list of games and global death exercises, Professor Falken includes a program named after himself ("Falken's Maze"). This is how David figures out that Falken created WOPR, which leads him to discover the password that nearly coats the Earth in white-hot nuclear fire -- Joshua, the source of the password, is Falken's dead son, and the most important figure in his life. Anyone who reads a few articles about Falken would learn this almost immediately, which is exactly what David does. So David very correctly guesses the obvious and types in "Joshua" as a password and is rewarded with access to the most dangerous machine ever built.
You'd expect a computer that can murder the world to require letters AND numbers in the password.
Falken, a computer genius, created the most guessable password in history (short of "password" itself), then attached said password to a remorseless nuke-wielding robot and left a trail of breadcrumbs for anyone to follow.
"I could change that password, but I'm far too busy not giving one boiling shit."
David is a superfly tweet machine who enjoys making stupid shirts and listing lists over at Film School Rejects, where he is a staff writer and generous lover.
For more movie happenings that don't quite make sense, check out 6 Movie Plot Holes You Never Noticed Thanks to Editing and 5 Gaping Plot Holes Hollywood Knows You Won't Notice.
If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out The 6 Most Baffling Crimes Pulled Off by Senior Citizens.
And stop by LinkSTORM to see how Cracked's terrible security allows Christina to sleep under a desk every night.
And don't forget to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr to get sexy, sexy jokes sent straight to your news feed. Are you on Google+? So are we!
Do you have an idea in mind that would make a great article? Then sign up for our writers workshop! Do you possess expert skills in image creation and manipulation? Mediocre? Even rudimentary? Are you frightened by MS Paint and simply have a funny idea? You can create an infographic and you could be on the front page of Cracked.com tomorrow!