Now that the writer has properly established a plausible scenario for the characters to meet, let the fucking begin.
Where It Gets Really Creepy:
It turns out the Teletubbies are slightly curious about sex, and who better to teach them about it than a potions professor at a magic school? Snape demonstrates how it's done with female Teletubbie Laa-Laa:
"Teletubbies, lay her with me, I'll teach you how to be a man. Oh, but you Poo, aren't ready yet. You are too young baby. Stay here in the corner and play with you small hose."
So Laa-Laa is ripe for fucking, but Po is out of the question, because that would be weird.
Later, Professor Snape teaches Dipsy how to turn Tinky Winky's butt into an instrument of pleasure:
"Oh Dispy, he don't have crotch mouth. But behind him, you will find a pork's eye. Don't be afraid, it's dirty, but after a while you will like the fine flavor of melted chocolate covering your lips."
Who let this man work with children?
But it doesn't stop with poop. Snape's fascination with bodily fluids continues as the lesson descends into an all-out orgy featuring boogers, vomit and bathing in fountains of breast milk. It's just a single-minded medley of every conceivable excretion, but the scariest part is that we can't shake the feeling that Snape is in his element here.
We are so very, very sorry. -Cracked Image Department