thelastmonte Cracked photo
  • Real Name: Monte Richard
  • Location: Louisiana
  • Member Since: April 15th, 2011 07:02 am
  • Last Seen: October 12th, 2016 04:44 pm
  • Personal tag line: The M. Night Shaylaman of Comedy
  • Message board posts

About thelastmonte

BLOG: Sometimes I write about odd stuff that cracked won't publish. Sometimes I put up the full articles before the editors cut them down to size. Sometimes I just try to piss people off. (

CRAPTIONS: And lastly you can find me in the Craptions forums regularly where I judge and make smartass remarks. (

There's not much else to say really, except perhaps:

I'm a ninja for hire
An ice cube on fire
A soothsayer and liar
Deceitful, dashing and dire
A menacing muse muddling meanings in the mire
My mind tumbles around like a cat in a dryer
When its down to the wire I get lit like a pyre
Kicking hobbits out the shire
In jet black attire like a cocaine supplier
Cuz I aspire to acquire your ire
And all you sucker MCs can call me sire...

I am also available for freelance work depending upon how pretty you are.

Number Of Articles: 36



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