Evil Crime Syndicate: The Lower Rungs You Never See [CHART]
Winston Rowntree is the author of Subnormality, the popular webcomic which he describes as containing "weird characters, endless opinions and occasionally huge walls of text."
In this installment of his weekly Cracked comic Abnormality, Mr. Rowntree shows you a detailed organizational map of a crime syndicate, including the lower rungs you rarely see in the movies ...
Check out past updates, in which Winston showed you The Truth Behind Obnoxious Assholes with 4 Pie Charts, Bono as a Superhero, Why Marriage Is Evil, The Mineral States of Man and Every Album Ever or weeks before when he showed you The Circle of Life for Jocks and Nerds, How To Win At Panhandling and How NOT to Get Revenge on Your Ex.
Why are bad aim guys higher up than goons?
ReplyBecause you cant be evil unless you have a Halliburton liason.
ReplyUgh you guys always with your disgusting stereotypes. If only once you read "All should go die" you'd see that this makes a lot of sense. Also ,rly? Badly paid employees? this is a totally legit corporation people!We get 401k plans you know!
ReplyHow many of you reach retirement? Cash that plan in now and head to Vegas.
"Sinister Mastermind's wife, Judy, who thinks her husband is a bank manager."
ReplyAnyone else not really seeing the distinction?
Yeah, you have to watch out for those evil pool guys--they can totally trip you up with their long-reach nets and mess you up with chlorine!
ReplyMy business school senior project would've been a lot more fun had we used an evil genius rather than Electronic Arts (I know, six of one, half dozen of the other) as our company for reorganization and efficiency streamlining.
ReplyThis makes me want to play Evil Genius.
Reply"I am Dr. Henry Killinger. And this is my magic Murder bag!"
ReplyAmerican ninja!! they are everywhere and hiding in plain sight, very dangerous..
Replytl;dr
ReplyAnd you felt that you had to share this with the world?
I laughed so damn hard coffee spurted from my nose and I didn't even care that it hurt.
Reply"You have weapons and minions aplenty. What you need is a man capable of managing an evil organization. That, I can provide."
Reply"I like the way this guy talks. What's your name number... number..."
"Number Killinger. Doktor Henry Killenger. And this is my Magic Murder Bag."
Why am I seeing him played by Vincent Schiavelli with a bad German accent? Don't get me wrong, I love it.
Terry, no!
ReplySo, why exactly is 70% of the staff subordinate to the mad scientist, rather than the right-hand man?
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesThe mad scientist is smarter.
Nerds runs the world, biatch
Second hand man is the muscle
Cheese and Rice, all this spam is getting f*cking ridiculous...
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesI think you mean Jesus Christ. But it's ok typos happen.
No, I think he means to shut the hell up coz if he does not like it he can go away and jump off a bridge like a little b***h and leave the rest of us to enjoy this awesome content.
Yeah, lay off the awesome spam content!
You sir, have taken my desired username when i tried joining cracked...damn you!!
Mmmmm... Cheesy Spam over rice...
Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt-
Sir, the testing?
Awesome.
ReplyHeh. The superintendent is wearing a Cowboy's hoodie.
ReplyNever seen a hoodie with short sleeves and no hood before. I'd almost swear it was a shirt, but then again I'm not a hoodie expert.
Heh. The superintendent is wearing a Cowboy's hoodie.
ReplyThis f**king bored me. I thought about saying sorry because I've liked a few other of the Abnormality comics, but I'm not.
ReplyBoring.
Henry Kissinger? Are you sure? I always thought he was more of a Jedi Warrior seeking peace and love through Bloody, paradoxical ends.
ReplyThe guy arguably saved the world a few times over, but he left a s**t ton of bodies in his wake.
Herr ist der Jude! Jude!