4 Types of Husbands and Wives (Or Why Marriage is Evil)

By Winston Rowntree March 29, 2009 240,549 views

Winston Rowntree is the author of Subnormality, the popular webcomic which he describes as containing "weird characters, endless opinions and occasionally huge walls of text."

In this installment of his weekly Cracked comic Abnormality, Mr. Rowntree gives you eight reasons not to get married, four for each sex...

Check out past updates, in which Winston illustrated The Mineral States of Man and Every Album Ever and The Circle of Life for Jocks and Nerds or weeks before when he showed you How To Win At Panhandling and How NOT to Get Revenge on Your Ex.

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81 Comments

Juno blows, and i like Nickelback

9/13/2009 3:17:51 AM

Daipire

"hey, Nickelback just won a Juno for Best band ever, or something. I think it's time to pick on someone else."

Who gives a f**k about the Juno?! But hey, while we're at it, let's lay off "Mein Kampf," too; I mean, it sold a million copies, that HAS to mean it's good!

8/19/2009 11:20:45 AM

Mr.Tea

That's weird, I was the 'You with longer hair' but with my ex-girlfriend.

7/7/2009 4:03:52 PM

DangerChocomog

I'm totally the "you with longer hair" to my boyfriend. hehehe

4/13/2009 11:56:13 AM

Noirakita

My Boyfriend would kinda fit into the father figure role/just five more minutes, whilst I would be combo mom/you with longer hair. Not that we look alike, we just have so much in common.

As for my parents, my dad is the blob, and my mom is, well... the mom.

4/13/2009 4:43:58 AM

BlueEVIL420

How about the husband that is impotent and addicted to the internet? You know, the one that never works.

Yeah, I was with HIM.. Still bitter...

4/8/2009 12:38:40 PM

OrganizedChaos

I love the blank face on the At Least He's Tall.

4/7/2009 11:27:29 PM

jccw227

I'm great, so finding someone just like me who I can have sex with would be..greater!

4/3/2009 5:01:44 PM

Ice9

Wow,,,great comic. After 8 months my "gf" and I broke up. She was in the "mother" scene BTW. When I first met her, I thought the idea of her going to medical school was awesome, that is after I got tired of her bitching about what I ate, breathed, and s**t everyday.

4/3/2009 8:44:21 AM

chubsoda

Oh man. My bf is so totally the Creepy Father Figure hahaha.

4/1/2009 3:11:40 PM

AkCrimson

Hahahaha great! I'd be interesting to meet my "you with longer hair"... or perhaps not.

3/31/2009 9:54:34 PM

OzO1250

Cool,but you could have included more pics.

3/31/2009 8:37:59 AM

sugreev2001

Dear Lord... Stop this madness... I can read the daily newspaper comics and not even giggle but this actually makes me angry.

3/31/2009 8:36:49 AM

Danjer047

mEh

3/31/2009 7:41:39 AM

lordastral

hey, Nickelback just won a Juno for Best band ever, or something. I think it's time to pick on someone else. I was always happy with Winger being the scapegoat but I'm old and I hate change. (Except when Obama says it)

3/31/2009 5:48:12 AM

purplestar

I want a me with shorter hair... and matching tees. Seems like my kind of man.

3/31/2009 12:55:51 AM

Zai

Give yourself a chance to know, chat and date with wonderful girls or guys. Yes, there is a good place let you to do that--♥--seekbi.com--♥--.Do not forget to tell us, if you get dreamful lovers.

3/31/2009 12:55:19 AM

sweeteye