There are two kinds of people in this world: people who love theme parks, and people dedicated to the military industrial complex. That's what we've learned from Jurassic Park, anyway. Well, not all we learned—we also learned we've been wrong about Tyrannosaurus Rex our whole lives. Man. Maybe we should read a book?
Nah, just kidding! Let's read Cracked articles about Jurassic Park! Want to reminisce about how awesome the old Jurassic Park ride at Universal Studios was? We got you covered. Want a breakdown of the cinematography in Jurassic Park compared to Jurassic World? We got you covered. Want to see a functioning farm instead of dino carnage? Here's star Sam Neill taking some pigs on a Spa Day. And while this hypothesis hasn't been confirmed by the scientific method, we've heard rumors that reading all of these articles back-to-back will make a shirtless Jeff Goldblum appear in your living room. Again, just a hypothesis. Test it out and see if life, uh, finds a way.