4 Realities When You Wear Your Fetish Under Your Clothes
If you've seen photos or videos of grown-ups wearing diapers, it probably means you've made your way to the "weird sex fetish" corner of the internet -- which, incidentally, makes up 70 percent of its mass. But contrary to what you probably thought, those people didn't merely slap on those diapers to make some porn. There are "adult babies" who dress like babies, act like babies, and joyfully shit themselves like babies. And no, it's not just to give you something freaky to masturbate to.
We spoke to several of these people (using fake names) to find out what the hell is going on. They told us ...
Sometimes It's Sexual, But It Often Isn't
The easy assumption for a novice would be that this is some borderline-pedophile shit. So these weirdos get turned on by kids, and therefore get turned on by anything associated with kids, right? Even if it's being worn by a 40-year-old hairy dude on a fetish site? Well, the ones we talked to went into great detail about why that's not the case. "It's not sexual attraction toward children; it's sexual attraction toward being the child," says James. Another source, Res, jokes, "When we see a kid in a diaper, we don't get lustful -- we get jealous."
"Aw shit, he's got those new super-absorbents!"
In fact, while there are numerous people jerking off to pics of diaper-clad adult ladies right this moment, many adult babies don't "mix peanut butter and chocolate," as Riley puts it (though she honestly could have spared us that imagery). There are relationships involved, but they are, well, complicated. When a person who enjoys acting like a baby and a person who enjoys acting like a parent really love each other, something very special happens. That something special may or may not involve any genital touching beyond the occasional wipe-up, though.
Sammy usually won't do anything sexual with her parent figure. "When I see , I only think of that childish thing," she says. "I don't think of him in that sexual nature." Edward agrees, explaining "I prefer my little space be a time of relaxation and calm." For him, a typical session begins when, "My partner will either offer to 'pad me up' or I'll ask. Afterward, it's a big day of relaxation. We often play video games or watch movies together. Recently, we've been watching a bunch of Disney and musical movies." According to James, "People regress to forget they have adult things and adult desires, and they don't want to think about . They want to curl up with a blankie and stuffed animal and be at peace."
"No thumb-sucking! You know how much braces cost?"
But otherwise, yes, some "littles" do like to play with the submissive aspects of being a baby. To Cerulean, if he does have sex during little time, it's because he's turned on by the shift in power dynamic. "To me, it's role-playing," he says. "I'm giving up the power and being helpless and letting someone else take control and be dominant." Res also likes mixing playtime and sex, but he also notes, "I know people who have sworn off ever thinking of sex or anything because it destroys their frame of mind when they're in little mode. Certain people are very much true age players." Riley knows that feeling. "Sometimes it's a brick wall," she says. "Like, 'Okay, this is little time, I don't want to be a big girl.'"
Yep, Sometimes They "Use" The Diapers
Adult-babying is all about "getting into the head space" -- that is, letting go of one's adult worries and truly regressing back to the free-peeing time in their lives. Putting on the diaper is part of that process, but the act itself is the ultimate catharsis. While not all adult babies use diapers for their intended purpose, it's one of the most common behaviors among the population.
"For me, wetting a diaper ... it triggers something" Riley says. "You're safe; someone's going to take care of you, or give yourself the chance for self-care." For Cerulean, who works a high-powered job that often demands unblinking attention, wearing diapers can have a practical benefit: "Co-workers will say, 'I really have to go to the bathroom,' and in my head I'm like, 'Well, I don't.'"
"He's our number-one worker!"
He notes that he won't "mess" (baby-talk for "shitting yourself") in public because it's not as easy to hide, "too weird, and hard to clean up." That's one important drawback of answering nature's call with a big middle finger: "You need to know about proper care," Sammy says. "If people don't clean up often enough or well enough, they get UTIs. A lot more care for vagina-owners, because it's easier for bacteria to get in." For this reason, "A fair amount of people, but not as common, will do number two," she says. "Cleanup can be a very big job."
It Starts In Childhood
According to surveys, the average age at which diaper-wearers begin to indulge themselves is 11 for boys and 12 for girls. That makes a bizarre kind of sense. That's old enough to start freaking out about that whole "responsibility" thing, but still young enough to vaguely recall how cool it was not getting up to poop. Everyone we spoke to reported being into diapers for as long as they could remember: Sammy was two, James was six, Riley was around four or five (and turning her underwear into diapers by stuffing them with napkins).
"There's never been a time where I haven't wanted to be little," Res says. "As soon as I got out of diapers, I've wanted to get back in. My earliest memory of that kind of thing is I had these leftover pull-ups and diapers and sneaking one on in the bathroom to see how it felt, and thinking it felt good, it felt right. I was probably four to five years old."
"They say 'Ages two and up.'"
Of course, getting into a diaper becomes difficult from a purely logistical standpoint once everyone thinks you're out of them. How do you pull this off (or up, as the case may be)? Do you start sticking up strollers? Yes, actually -- if there was a baby nearby, they'd steal the diapers. If there were no babies, they'd have to wait until they were old enough to drive to the store and buy them.
Eventually, the obsessive need to get their sweet Pampers fix meant several of our sources got busted by their parents. "Hard to explain when you're nine or ten why you want to be back in diapers," Res says. "They had me see therapist for a bit." That's not an uncommon reaction. Cerulean's parents are hardcore Christians who immediately delivered him to a Jesus shrink. "They were just like, 'This isn't right. It could be against God.'" We can't specifically remember any verses specifically about this, but we suppose they didn't really have diapers back then. Or maybe the writers of the Bible didn't think it would come up.
"For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God."
"What about those that dress up like children of God?"
"Shut up, Peter."
They Insist It's A Form Of Therapy
Alright, raise your hand if you've made it to this point in the article and have decided that these people represent the fall of Western civilization.
Okay. So here's the thing:
If you talk to people who are (for example) into BDSM, as we have, you hear them say that the pain is a form of stress relief. Talk to a phone sex operator, and they'll tell you how many customers simply want to work through their emotional issues with a friendly voice, and never get around to the sex talk. Prostitutes say the same thing -- they end up with clients weeping into their arms, fully clothed. There is a definite trend among people involved in activities society writes off as "weird sex stuff."
"I mean, rabbits have other interests too, you know?"
Now here's our diaper-wearing source Edward: "My level of autism (previously called Asperger's) brings visual and auditory sensitivity as well as some social difficulties. Lights and sounds that wouldn't bother anyone else can be amplified and literally feel like they're trapped in my head and bouncing around, getting louder and louder. I often fail to pick up on a person's body language or the tone they're using for whichever intent, and when I 'fail' at this, I feel horrible ... Being allowed into my 'little space' is absolutely one my favorite coping/soothing mechanisms."
James, meanwhile, endured years of speech therapy, not to mention bullying, for an impediment and delay. As a result, "I felt ostracized as a kid." But being a baby "helps me become more sociable, because it helps me not worry about how people are ... I feel at peace, I feel protected ... Best way to describe it: Imagine laying on a beach, and you're like letting the sun soak in. Lying there for hours and hearing the waves. That's almost the same feeling as being a little person."
At least he's honest about when he pees on himself.
Sammy, meanwhile, believes that making herself vulnerable gave her the courage to come out as trans. How did playing baby make her feel? "The first time, I really felt deep into that mindset and that I could let go of things. I no longer was worrying about all the adult stuff going on, was completely in that moment. Kind of set everything in motion for me, thinking maybe I can go deeper, maybe it's OK for me to be younger." And Riley believes that "being little is a release valve for these emotions that I believe a lot of people well up."
Now, we're not scientists, but we're starting to think that where you find somebody practicing "deviant" behavior, you really find someone who developed an unusual stress release valve early in life, and stuck with it because it works.
We're sure you do the same thing.
And this one may not even be all that unusual. There's a growing body of evidence showing that "play therapy" (playing make believe, farting around with toys, etc. under a therapist's guidance and supervision) benefits adults as well as children, for the exact reason our soggy-bottomed friends suggest: It gives them "an appropriate avenue to safely examine their thoughts, feelings, and issues." In some cities, people drop the equivalent of a decent lunch on naptime space and up to $1,000 for a month of classes at adult preschools.
They may not be pissing their pants (as far as we know), but it's definitely a thing people want, and which they insist makes them feel better. And at this stage, we're genuinely wondering what percentage of the population doesn't have a secret release valve that, if discovered, would make them a prime target for blackmail.
For more insider perspectives, check out We Draw Furry Porn: 6 Things We've Learned On The Job and 5 Adventures I Had As A Cam Girl With A Niche In Sex Puppets.
Also, follow us on Facebook, and we'll be your best friends forever.
If you have a story to share with Cracked, please email us here.