5

Certain Fantasies Are Way, Way More Common Than You'd Think

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Before becoming a professional phone sex operator and in-person ball crusher, I knew that men thought about sex a lot -- but I didn't realize just how deep and creative their fantasies could be. Inside every pervert beats the heart of a Tolstoy.

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And sometimes they want to be beat with War and Peace.

Phone sex isn't cheap, at least good phone sex isn't, and in-person dom sessions can at the high end cost as much as a used car. So the vast majority of my clientele are upper-middle-class guys in their 40s to 60s -- I have a slew of doctors, lawyers, professors, business executives, and even a minister or two, all of whom have elaborate fantasy worlds they seem to use as a kind of relief valve to alleviate some of the stress of their high-power positions. I'm just the Sherpa that guides them through their kink.

For instance, one thing that hit me about this job is the insane amount of men who fantasize about being feminized and humiliated, or forced to cross dress. Men cross-dress for a ton of different reasons, but the most surprising thing is just how incredibly common it is. In my daily life, I find myself looking at guys' asses to check for panty lines. And I find them, constantly.

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"Boyshorts, dude. Support and concealment."

4

The Fetishes Often Have Shockingly Little to Do With Sex

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When you think of phone sex, you probably imagine a woman's breathy voice saying that she's lying on her bed, wearing her favorite black lace lingerie, and that you sound so hot she just has to touch herself. After that, you get a soundtrack to your wank session composed of moaning and her telling you what a stud you are.

In real life, not so much. I've found most guys would rather watch free porn than spend $1.99 per minute for something so mundane (thanks Internet), so the guys who call me are looking for ... something a little different.

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"You're a fuck dragon; your name is Falcor. I start scratching you behind your ear ..."

Like the shrinking fetishists. That's a really common phone fantasy -- they like me to describe them shrinking down to about an inch in height, give or take, then picking them up, dropping them in the toilet, and flushing them away. Then there's the vore guys (as in "carnivore") -- guys who fantasize about being eaten. I have one who likes me to describe how I will truss him up, put him in a big roasting pan (complete with chopped-up carrots, potatoes, celery, and onions), sprinkle him with salt and pepper (he always manages to sneeze for me when we get to that part), baste him in butter ("Ohhh it's sooo slippery isn't it, having that butter drip all over your body ..."), and pop him in the oven (at 450 degrees).

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Slow and low at 275 if it's payday.

3

Maintaining the Illusion Is Crucial to Them

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2

Being a Dominatrix Doesn't Involve Intercourse

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Many people think that being a dominatrix means being a high-end prostitute. I mean no offense to prostitutes, but that is not my job. I've never ever had sex with any of my clients, and I never ever would.

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Which means I'm just like every other profession that's completely misrepresented in porn.

That's not what it's about, and in fact that would actually ruin our whole dynamic, if they were to see me in a vulnerable, naked state. There's a reason why you picture black leather or latex catsuits when you think of a dominatrix. Contact between in-person clients and myself would, at most, mean letting them be a human footstool or getting a well-placed slap across their little bitch faces. Once again, for many guys, it's not about the sex act -- it's something much more complicated. A need they can't get filled anywhere else.

Now, there are guys who do want to cross that line -- some have trouble seeing the difference between me, the real person, and the character they're paying to stick clothespins on their cock. That's one reason I've actually phased out most of my in-person domming sessions in favor of phone sessions, because hey, I get to work in my PJs. I work for a phone sex company as well as owning my own business working through a platform, so my take-home pay is between 70 cents and $1.19 per minute for my time. For physical sessions, I usually charge between $100 or $200 per hour. It's good money, and none of it requires showing off any more skin than the average nun.

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And shit, if that's what they want, I can do that too.

1

For Many Guys, This Is the Therapy They're Not Getting Elsewhere

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You'd be surprised how much time I spend talking to my clients. Well, obviously, but I mean talking. You know the kind of talking the stereotypical girlfriends of the world always want. Emotional support is a much bigger aspect of the job than you'd expect. Not only do I have to get the guys off, I have to then assure them afterward that they aren't weird.

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Keep in mind sometimes they have just instructed me to tell them the exact opposite.

That's why I work really hard on trying to understand the fetishes my clients have. For balloon popping, it's the anticipation; for the shrinking guys, it's the loss of power; for the yak guy ... actually I haven't figured that one out yet. Psychotherapists are starting to recognize the value sex work can play in therapy, though. Australia's currently gripped in a debate over whether or not their national disability insurance should cover "sex surrogates" (if you're interested, there's a documentary called Scarlet Road you should watch).

I've had guys who were coming out to their family who came to me first for support, to get pumped up. I've had a guy stop in the middle of a call and start crying, because he missed his ex-wife and needed to talk about it. I've given relationship advice -- hell I have even checked out guys' online dating profiles so I could give them pointers from a woman's perspective.

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"Don't mention produce or bovine animals until at least the fifth date."

I actually had one client who was into extreme humiliation -- he was black, and racial degradation was his particular turn-on. I got so hard on him during one session that he broke down and started crying. I wound up learning that he'd grown up in a very strict household, where men weren't allowed to show emotion. Our session was the first time he'd ever broken down and cried about all of the horrible stuff he'd encountered as a kid. Getting that emotional release helped him deal with some demons. He never did another session with me, but he thanked me by email afterward, and now every week for the last few years he's sent me a $100 check as thanks.

Robert Evans's first book, A Brief History of Vice, is available for pre-order now!

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