6 Reasons You're Picturing the Post-Apocalypse Wrong

6

Don't Go Expecting Reavers and Bandits

When we first started out for Slab City, we expected to find a bunch of crazy aspiring cannibals, alien-worshipping cultists, and people who park their shopping carts across both sides of the aisle in supermarkets. In short: the dregs of society.

But sadly, we found only nice, normal folks. The first place we stopped was a singles club called LOW ("Loners on Wheels"). We accidentally broke into their library, thinking it was for public use, even though the words "Members Only" were written quite clearly on the inside of the door. We tried to pass our illiteracy off as simple rebelliousness, but nobody was buying it.

5

When You're Freed From Societal Norms, You Can Make Some Incredible Things ...

People with dreadlocks and sandals and morals are constantly telling us that we throw away too much useful stuff and we should recycle more, and we're like, "Help us hide this busted computer monitor underneath the Styrofoam -- they get mad at you if they see it in the trash." It's just hard to make a compelling case, because what the hell does recycling net us? New bottles made out of old bottles? That's not sexy at all.

East Jesus makes recycling awesome and useful in a visually spectacular way. Almost everything is built from stuff someone else discarded -- including the electronics. East Jesus has a battery bank made up entirely of expired batteries from telecom companies, who throw away their batteries when they begin operating at less than 80 percent capacity.

And then there's the trash art gallery we mentioned earlier ...

You can see this strange, DIY-punk chic thing in the vehicles, too. As Mad Max taught us, the first thing people will do once society collapses is turn their cars from gridlock-suffering, butt-shuttles to iron steeds of murder:

Warner Bros.

4

Living Off the Grid Doesn't Mean Living Without Civilization

Slab City -- a town with about 200 residents year-round, and maybe 2,000 residents at the peak of the winter rush -- has three libraries (two private, one public), a skate park, a couple of bars, a restaurant, two churches (one of which apparently sells meth), an open stage, and a shooting range. You can read until you get tired, hit up the meth church, ask forgiveness for doing so much meth, then take in a show, and end the night by emptying a machine gun into a target with your dad's face taped on it. See? Slab City may be small, but it has everything you need for a nice Friday night out on the town.

3

When You Remove the Law, People Don't Turn Immoral

Slab City is technically under the jurisdiction of the Niland Police Department, but they don't really "patrol" it, and they only tend to come out when the composted shit hits a solar-powered fan. So Swaim devised a brilliant plan to test the trustworthiness of this anarchic utopia: we'd set up a camp, lay out some blankets and gear and then leave to go explore. How much stuff remained when we returned would determine how well we could trust the locals.

2

Even Anarchists Need Rules

Each community has different rules in Slab City, but many of the residents try for true anarchy, opting to live on their own rather than adhere to fascist concepts like "neighborhoods." The people trying to make this lifestyle work in the long term, like our friends at East Jesus, balance their love of autonomy with an acceptance of the fact that shit doesn't get done if you leave it up to "whoever feels like it, man."

1

Real Estate Tycoons Are a Bigger Threat Than Super Mutants

Currently, Slab City enjoys a tolerable relationship with The Man: its next door neighbor is a military artillery range, and one popular pastime for many Slabbers is watching the Army test fire cannons across the desert. Some even go collect spent shells afterwards, if they're willing to play some cat-and-mouse with the Military Police and, of course, the same exploding shells of death they're out there trying to collect.

"The scrappers here straight don't give a fuck about driving into the middle of an active bombing range, grabbing what they can, and hauling ass with the goddamn U.S. military right behind them, all to make a quick buck."

But sadly, the biggest threat here isn't explosions, or marauders, or anything else suitably awesome and post-apocalyptic. The land that Slab City sits on is property of the state, and currently going up for sale. One source we talked to, who acted as a "treasurer" for several Slab neighborhoods, stated that originally "we could've bought the land for pocket change." But once they actually started making offers, other parties expressed interest, and the price rose substantially.

It's hard to say what will happen -- another source mentioned the possibility of forming a trust to lease the land -- but the exact future of Slab City is unclear. If someone with more money comes along and buys up the land, the "last free place in America" might not exist for much longer. But while everybody there seemed plenty cordial and peaceful at the time, we pity the poor sucker that tries to evict a whole town full of folks who saw the ravaged wasteland settlements from Mad Max and said "that looks like a good place to start a life."

If you want to help our friends at East Jesus buy their land and keep the experiment going, click here to donate.

Robert Evans has a Twitter, and if you follow him he will love you for all eternity.

For more insider perspectives, check out 7 Things No One Tells You About Being Homeless and 5 Things You Learn From Camping (If You Hate the Outdoors).

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