I am Cracked.com senior editor and columnist JF Sargent. Sometimes they call me "Josh" because that's what the J stands for. Other times they call me "Sarge" because "Sargent" is a badass name that I received due to a technicality. I am the only Cracked writer you can trust.
As much as we hear about how shitty single parents are, how modern kids are all disrespectful murder-hooligans, and how absent black fathers are ruining a generation of youth, the truth is much different.
It's 2 AM on a Monday and here you are, covered in blood, with a bag over your shoulder. And you're asking me to help you. It's just ... I dunno. I dunno man.
Anthropomorphic goatee and director of 'The Jinx' Andrew Jarecki has recently taken criticism from many sides regarding the ending of his documentary series.
Movie heroes: Who are these fractured reflections of our psyche? Can we trust them with our souls, with our children's souls, and with our future? No. We are screwed.
In the interest of full disclosure, there is a point in this experiment where I smear cream cheese all over a bran muffin because I thought it was vanilla frosting and a chocolate cupcake.
My theory is that it's because video games, more so than any other artform, are designed to get you addicted, and that this addiction has turned a bunch of dorky but harmless people into raving lunatics.
It's our time. Our time to defeat the snobs. Are you with me? Then step into my teleporter, fellow snob-fighters; it's time for us to journey out into the world.
The purveyors of the credit-score-ruining gadgets of tomorrow seem less like Tony Stark-esque mad-geniuses and more like Professor Marvel from The Wizard of Oz.
