15 Freaky Food Mascots That Are Magically Horrific
![15 Freaky Food Mascots That Are Magically Horrific](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/2/770902_320x180.jpg)
Mascots can be pretty hard to get right. And sure, pretty hard is a bit of an understatement. Food mascots can be even harder. You’d think it shouldn’t be – just take your food and slap some cute googly eyes on it, but often that doesn’t seem to be the way to go, for whatever reason. So instead, we get decades of horrifying iterations of clowns trying to sell kids junky, sugary cereal. The modern day isn’t as polished as it could be, definitely no doubt about that. But they’re leagues and miles better than what came before. Like, sure, Baby Nut was lazy and pandering. And sure, they made the green M&M way too hot (we are kind of terrified by how many of us here at Cracked had our sexual awakenings caused by a freaking M&M). But after you get a load of Apple Guy and Krinkles the Clown, you're gonna come crawling back to The Colonel.
![Bigg Mixx KELLOGG'S t GG B CRACKED COM In the early 90's, Kellogg's sold a... gigantic orgy of every cereal they had. Appropriately, the mascot looked like the result of 10 generations of chimera inbreeding.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/4/770894.jpg)
![The Hamburglar M MCDONALD'S McDonaldland COOKIES CRACKEDO He wasn't always the cherubic little scamp we know and love. The Hamburglar spent the 70's and 80's oody-hopping into various greasy-haired, dead-eyed serial killers.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/9/770899.jpg)
![Rock-afire Explosion SHOWBIZ PIZZA This animatronic band is what would happen if Jeff Dunham had 10 minutes to build a Chuck E. Cheese from spare puppet parts he had lying around.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/3/770893.jpg)
Source: YouTube
![Cecil GRINS & SMILES & GIGGLES & LAUGHS Goinnil Gocgsl CRACKED COM This dour, ear-jowled mass of factory equipment vomits boxes of kids' cereal when he laughs. And he only laughs when someone gets hurt.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/7/770897.jpg)
Source: YouTube
![Franken Berry ono CRACKED COM This Salad Fingers-looking spOKESCORPSE is either Count Chocula's dead roommate, or a collection of human corpses stitched together to sell cereal. Neither should be seen by children first thing on a Sunday morning.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/8/8/770888.jpg)
![A dead-eyed, grinning apple aevzt APPLE JACKS Jun APPLE CINNAMON COATED CEREAT WIN ONS CRACKED CON This freaky little fedor-o-lantern with the vapid stare had an equally vapid name: Apple Guy. He haunted children throughout the 60's with the clear implication that they were eating his eyes.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/8/770898.jpg)
![Big Otis OKS MEET BIG OTIS Os HS This gigantic creep was the mascot for OKs, a cereal that was like Alpha-Bits but with only the letters O and K. His thing was luring brawny lads and bonnie lassies into the woods to hork down some oats.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/0/770900.jpg)
![Pizza Head PIZZA HUT CRACKED COM Back in the 90's, Pizza Hut thought they needed to sell us pizza by: having a pizza cutter repeatedly murder a liviNG slice of cold pizza. It's pizza! We're gonna get drunk and eat it!](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/2/770892.jpg)
Source: YouTube
![Aunt Jemima CRACKED COM USE Sometimes lost in the recent debates over just what Aunt Jemima represents is this horrifying, minstrel show-inspired caricature that graced Missouri's kitchen shelves in the late 1800's.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/1/770901.jpg)
![Popsicle Pete PETE: AW THAT'S NO LISTEN GLYS HELLO BOY5 HC HIYA OUR TEACHER. IWOULD YOU'LIK ADVENTURES OF LET'S GO FUN IVE GOT DOWN TO BETTER MR. WINTERS TO BE ACTORS A CORNER GET HAS PUT REAL THE IDEA A ON POPSICLE PETE WE AND HANG THE GANG SWELL SHow>](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/0/770890.jpg)
![Ronald MCDonald CRACKED COM This is Ronald's first appearance, in 1963. His costume is made of literal fast food trash, like he dumped a McDonalds bathroom garbage can on his head just before trying to sell cheap beef to your kid.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/5/770895.jpg)
Source: YouTube
![Big Fig NEWTONS DMMERCIAL DMMERCIAL CRACKED COM Back when they had enough fig content to include the word fig in the name, they put an angry-looking, jowly man in... quite honestly a pear costume, and made him box step until his heart exploded.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/6/770896.jpg)
Source: YouTube
![Krinkles the Clown SUGAR RICE KRINKLES HA H s HA SUGAR HA A HA HA COATED A HA HA RICE! A HA A HA A HA H A HA When Post was forced to replace their kinda racist caricature of a mascot-- a short Chinese boy](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/8/7/770887.jpg)
![Peter Wheat PETER WHEAT BREAD CRAOKEDCOM Peter was a 2-inch tall toddler with a kill count higher than Rambo and Blade in a trenchcoat. In the late 40's, he was the star of a monthly comic in which, despite living in and among mostly cupcake batter, he spent most of](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/1/770891.jpg)
![The Frito Bandito FRITOS CRACKED CON Frito-Lay got voice-acting legend Mel Blanc to voice this gunslinging caricature, who's actively robbing you the viewer in this TV spot.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/8/9/770889.jpg)
Source: The 6 Most Clearly Disturbing Mascots in Marketing History