Wait, if cheeseburgers and Big Macs are people, and the Hamburglar who's eating them is a murderer, does that mean we should stop eating them too? If Mayor McCheese is a gigantic hamburger, does that mean we're eating the children of his species? Yes. YES IT DOES. We're EATING THE KIDS.
See the truth that you can't unsee. It's canon in the McDonald's universe that hamburgers are children. They are talking, learning, sentient children, who are being slowly picked off by an evil clown ... wait a second, this is starting to sound familiar. A town where children routinely disappear, while the mayor and law enforcement are no help. There's a clown who's taking the children away. IT and 1980s McDonald's commercials have the same overarching plot. IT was written in 1986, right around the heyday of the McDonaldland commercials. So it's official: IT was inspired by McDonald's commercials. There is nothing more horrifying than those. Except ...
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