Cracked Archive - Weird World

To My Unborn Son: Stuff I Won't Have the Balls to Say
To My Unborn Son: Stuff I Won't Have the Balls to Say

Five Reasons Bastards Always Win

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6 Family Circus Cartoons Improved with Offensive Jokes
6 Family Circus Cartoons Improved with Offensive Jokes

A lot of people would save Abraham Lincoln if they had a time machine. Not me. I would let Lincoln die while I went back to the dawn of language and made sure

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The 4 Most Potentially Badass Fathers Who Never Had Kids
The 4 Most Potentially Badass Fathers Who Never Had Kids

Pointing out the people who shouldn't have had kids (Hitler's Dad, his Mom, and so forth), is easy and boring. So, in honor of Father's Day, I've rounded up a bunch of awesome and badass historical figures who absolutely should have filled this planet with their offspring.

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3 Steps to Not Sucking at Air Travel [CHART]
3 Steps to Not Sucking at Air Travel [CHART]

You're going to travel by plane. Might as well not make an embarassing mess of it.

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5 Awful Things Nobody Tells You About Moving
5 Awful Things Nobody Tells You About Moving

There are all sorts of traps, pitfalls, and dastardly sons of bitches lurking out there, just waiting to pounce on you in your vulnerable state of temporary Hobo-osity. And nobody warns you about them ... presumably because Big Moving has had all of their protesting tongues cut out and fed into the secret Misery Engines that really keep those truck

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6 Reasons Engagement Ring Shopping Objectively Sucks
6 Reasons Engagement Ring Shopping Objectively Sucks

My boyfriend and I have recently come to the point where we're discussing the whole engagement deal and have come to the conclusion that this whole engagement ring racket is an elaborate trap. It seems like it should be simple enough for two reasonable people to agree on some kind of tangible engagement symbol that doesn't cost you thousands of dol

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6 People Who Had No Clue Their Faces Were World-Famous
6 People Who Had No Clue Their Faces Were World-Famous

Imagine that your face has been famous for years or decades, and you never had any idea. This happens -- people have found out that completely without their knowledge, they've become icons.

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The 5 Most Terrifying Zoo Exhibits Ever
The 5 Most Terrifying Zoo Exhibits Ever

Zoos are a place of childlike wonder. But even these places of joy can produce nightmare-inducing images that will keep you up for weeks.

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The 5 Most Pointlessly Women-Specific Products
The 5 Most Pointlessly Women-Specific Products

Sometimes women need different versions of certain products, like smaller clothes, or sappier movies, or bras with larger cups than men's bras. But most products don't need that split, which is why you don't see Wastebaskets For Women or Ladies' Bookshelves.

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7 Legendary Acts of Petty Revenge
7 Legendary Acts of Petty Revenge

We all get mad and can react childishly to others, but there are some people who take petty revenge to dizzying levels of perfection.

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Man Comics: Revenge of The Manliest Dog Alive
Man Comics: Revenge of The Manliest Dog Alive

This dog seriously does not give a s#!%.

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Why The Martini is the Greatest Drink Ever Poured
Why The Martini is the Greatest Drink Ever Poured

It is the perfect cocktail

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5 Manliest Hobbies You've Never Heard of
5 Manliest Hobbies You've Never Heard of

There are a variety things people can do to change their monotonous lives. Some find religion and some find totally friggin' crazy.

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