Cracked Archive - Weird World

To My Unborn Son: Stuff I Won't Have the Balls to Say

Five Reasons Bastards Always Win

By Brendan McGinley
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June 18, 2011

CRACKED Round-Up: Praying for Winter Edition

By CRACKED Staff
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June 18, 2011

6 Family Circus Cartoons Improved with Offensive Jokes

A lot of people would save Abraham Lincoln if they had a time machine. Not me. I would let Lincoln die while I went back to the dawn of language and made sure

By Seanbaby
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June 17, 2011

The 4 Most Potentially Badass Fathers Who Never Had Kids

Pointing out the people who shouldn't have had kids (Hitler's Dad, his Mom, and so forth), is easy and boring. So, in honor of Father's Day, I've rounded up a bunch of awesome and badass historical figures who absolutely should have filled this planet with their offspring.

By Daniel O'Brien
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June 17, 2011

3 Steps to Not Sucking at Air Travel [CHART]

You're going to travel by plane. Might as well not make an embarassing mess of it.

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By Stephen Cook
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June 16, 2011

5 Awful Things Nobody Tells You About Moving

There are all sorts of traps, pitfalls, and dastardly sons of bitches lurking out there, just waiting to pounce on you in your vulnerable state of temporary Hobo-osity. And nobody warns you about them ... presumably because Big Moving has had all of their protesting tongues cut out and fed into the secret Misery Engines that really keep those truck

By Robert Brockway
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June 15, 2011

6 Reasons Engagement Ring Shopping Objectively Sucks

My boyfriend and I have recently come to the point where we're discussing the whole engagement deal and have come to the conclusion that this whole engagement ring racket is an elaborate trap. It seems like it should be simple enough for two reasonable people to agree on some kind of tangible engagement symbol that doesn't cost you thousands of dol

By Christina H
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June 14, 2011

6 People Who Had No Clue Their Faces Were World-Famous

Imagine that your face has been famous for years or decades, and you never had any idea. This happens -- people have found out that completely without their knowledge, they've become icons.

771

By Kathy Benjamin, Paul K Pickett
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June 14, 2011

The 5 Most Terrifying Zoo Exhibits Ever

Zoos are a place of childlike wonder. But even these places of joy can produce nightmare-inducing images that will keep you up for weeks.

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By Megan B.
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June 13, 2011

Cracked Round-Up: Summer Road-Trip Edition

By CRACKED Staff
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June 11, 2011

The 5 Most Pointlessly Women-Specific Products

Sometimes women need different versions of certain products, like smaller clothes, or sappier movies, or bras with larger cups than men's bras. But most products don't need that split, which is why you don't see Wastebaskets For Women or Ladies' Bookshelves.