While I can accept whatever's in people's hearts, there's no reason the rest of us have to keep hearing about it. Here are the four things about God I've heard enough of from both atheists and the devout.
This year, instead of going all over the Internet and reading everything you come across, I'll save us all some time and just tell you the kind of Christmas articles you're going to see. This year and every year.
When it comes time to make holiday decorations, the line between festive and nightmarish is razor thin.
Every kid knew that there was an inherent risk in asking Santa for an action figure, because parents usually figured that as long as it had the right logo on the box, they were on the safe side. This, naturally, caused many a tear-filled holiday.
The busiest fighting week of the year is almost upon us. Across the world families will soon come together and rediscover the reasons they moved apart in the first place, arguments growing into fights, growing into turkey-scented orgies of ruptured feelings.
Back in the day, nobody called themselves a nerd. Other people called them that, and then gave them a wedgie. Now, many people get so proud of being nerds that they get mad when anyone implies they are not a real nerd. How did this happen?
Classic comic book characters have successfully been reinvented over the years. But they kept being succesful because the core was the same -- no one would ever mess with that, would they?
These stories are all so far beyond a reasonable point that they need a GPS and a Coast Guard escort to find their way back.
It turns out some of the most awesomely portrayed jobs in movies require almost no training whatsoever and can be done by almost any old jackass who walks in off the street.
Hey Cabbie, it's me, Daniel. The guy you hit with your car. Hello! I just wanted to check in, see how you were doing, and introduce myself, since you didn't really stick around to chat after you hit me with you car, (more on that later!).
Dogs were probably useful as hell on the battlefield way back when. With the advent of artillery, you'd think they'd be retired from combat situations. Of course, you'd be totally wrong.
Reason, logic, and empathy are all equally excellent tools of opposition, if employed correctly. But hey, if all that shit fails, you can always try complete and utter madness. Looks like it's working out great for these guys: