Cracked Archive - Weird World

4 Things Both Atheists and Believers Need to Stop Saying

While I can accept whatever's in people's hearts, there's no reason the rest of us have to keep hearing about it. Here are the four things about God I've heard enough of from both atheists and the devout.


Sci-Fi Stories for Badassed Men

Merry Christmas testosterone: Man Comics!


The 4 Christmas Articles You'll See On The Internet

This year, instead of going all over the Internet and reading everything you come across, I'll save us all some time and just tell you the kind of Christmas articles you're going to see. This year and every year.


7 Ridiculous Origins of Everyday Words

We find it so fascinating to go back and understand where the words we use actually came from. Yet out of all the times we've done this previously, these origins might just take the cake.


The 11 Most Unintentionally Creepy Christmas Ornaments

When it comes time to make holiday decorations, the line between festive and nightmarish is razor thin.


The 36 Worst Action Figures From Iconic Toy Lines

Every kid knew that there was an inherent risk in asking Santa for an action figure, because parents usually figured that as long as it had the right logo on the box, they were on the safe side. This, naturally, caused many a tear-filled holiday.


The 7 Types of Holiday Fights You're About to Get In

The busiest fighting week of the year is almost upon us. Across the world families will soon come together and rediscover the reasons they moved apart in the first place, arguments growing into fights, growing into turkey-scented orgies of ruptured feelings.


5 Reasons Calling Someone a 'Nerd' Is Officially Meaningless

Back in the day, nobody called themselves a nerd. Other people called them that, and then gave them a wedgie. Now, many people get so proud of being nerds that they get mad when anyone implies they are not a real nerd. How did this happen?


The 6 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Superhero Reinventions

Classic comic book characters have successfully been reinvented over the years. But they kept being succesful because the core was the same -- no one would ever mess with that, would they?


6 Real Acts of Self Defense Too Awesome for an Action Movie

These stories are all so far beyond a reasonable point that they need a GPS and a Coast Guard escort to find their way back.


6 Badass Jobs That You're Probably Already Qualified to Do

It turns out some of the most awesomely portrayed jobs in movies require almost no training whatsoever and can be done by almost any old jackass who walks in off the street.


An Open Letter to the NYC Cab Driver Who Hit Me

Hey Cabbie, it's me, Daniel. The guy you hit with your car. Hello! I just wanted to check in, see how you were doing, and introduce myself, since you didn't really stick around to chat after you hit me with you car, (more on that later!).


5 Of the Most Badass Soldiers Ever (Happened to be Dogs)

Dogs were probably useful as hell on the battlefield way back when. With the advent of artillery, you'd think they'd be retired from combat situations. Of course, you'd be totally wrong.


The 6 Most WTF Protesters Ever Photographed

Reason, logic, and empathy are all equally excellent tools of opposition, if employed correctly. But hey, if all that shit fails, you can always try complete and utter madness. Looks like it's working out great for these guys: