Cracked Archive - Weird World

9 Simple Tasks That No One in a Commercial Can Do Right
9 Simple Tasks That No One in a Commercial Can Do Right

Everyone selling these products seems to be living in some kind of dystopian dimension where even most mundane task is a struggle. I've collected data from countless miracle washcloths and smoothie makers to compile this list of nine simple things no one in a commercial can do.

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The 4 Greatest Things in Life (Everyone Manages to Ruin)
The 4 Greatest Things in Life (Everyone Manages to Ruin)

Just FYI: I know one of you, and it's just one, eats bacon-wrapped bacon every day, has sex with supermodels, and gets paid to play video games, and this article means nothing to you aside from my hilarious jokes, and that's OK. No need to comment.

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The 5 Creepiest Foreign Versions of Disney Fairy Tales
The 5 Creepiest Foreign Versions of Disney Fairy Tales

It seems these tellers put their own little twists on the tale. Their insane, gut-wrenching, nightmarish twists.

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5 Simple Problems Technology Should Have Fixed by Now
5 Simple Problems Technology Should Have Fixed by Now

Sometimes the simplest tasks are left behind by the unceasing forward march of technological development, where they sit huddled, frightened, and alone -- left to die in the vast and unforgiving tundra of obsolescence.

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So You've Swapped Bodies With Your Mortal Enemy
So You've Swapped Bodies With Your Mortal Enemy

'Well, we'll table the issue of how demolished you were last night for now. Try looking around for clues. Can you figure out whose room this is? Are parts of their body anywhere?'

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5 Things You Never Want to See at an Open Mic
5 Things You Never Want to See at an Open Mic

No matter the format, it's almost always an awful time, and if you want to be a comic, it's an awful time you have to force yourself to have over and over and over again if you ever hope to spend enough time onstage to not be terrible.

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5 Ridiculous Things Adults Do Thanks to Peer Pressure
5 Ridiculous Things Adults Do Thanks to Peer Pressure

According to a dozen videos I watched in high school, peer pressure will/did ruin my life and made me butt chug heroin-laced vodka and snort all the marijuanas ever. I typed this article from my hospital bed. All teenagers are the devil.

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6 Seemingly Simple Tasks Everybody Sucks At
6 Seemingly Simple Tasks Everybody Sucks At

Life is hard and filled with failure. Think of it as a raging erection, but replace the forthcoming ejaculant with failure. Did that help? Somehow I don't think that helped.

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5 Despicable Things People Do for Good Online Reviews
5 Despicable Things People Do for Good Online Reviews

There's a few things you should know about that 'unbiased' review you're reading.

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9 Tips for Surviving While Stranded at the Airport
9 Tips for Surviving While Stranded at the Airport

We have no right to complain about sleeping outside a closed-down airport Chili's for a night or two -- but still, it's not exactly a pleasant experience. That's why I'm here to help you: With a few simple tips and a little preparation, you can make the best of your next travel delay.

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The 6 Most Insane Legal Technicalities to Ever Screw Someone
The 6 Most Insane Legal Technicalities to Ever Screw Someone

These are stranger technicalities the world has managed to produce, along with a brief estimate on their ability to provoke sickle-delivered justice.

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5 True Stories That Will Make You Believe in Karma
5 True Stories That Will Make You Believe in Karma

Rarely do you see the literal Bitch-Slapping Glove of Justice descend from the skies to smack somebody in the mouth for being a jerk.

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20 Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped (Part 11)
20 Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped (Part 11)

It's time again for our most popular feature, in which we take photos that have made millions of Internet users scream 'FAKE!' and prove that they are, in fact, real.

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