Cracked Archive - Weird World

5 Ways the Internet Steals Your Soul

Maybe that sounds melodramatic, but I don't think it's an overstatement. After all, think of all the things the Net has the power to make you do


5 Ways It's Perfectly Fine to Harshly Judge Someone

Here are my techniques to really get to know someone as quickly as possible, whether it's a friend, a potential lover, or your boss.


4 Trends That Have Overstayed Their Internet Welcome

These things show no signs of slowing down, and they must be stopped before they damage the Internet and reality.


4 Behaviors the Modern World Is Only Making Worse

What makes us shake our heads? The disgust and bafflement and shame and disbelief we feel when confronted with that which should not be.


5 Useless Pieces of Advice Everyone Gives to New Parents

Here I will explain how some common attempts to be helpful to new parents are in no way helpful.


5 Absurd Movie and TV Premises That Actually Happened

There are people out there who can honestly say that one day their lives turned into something straight out of a Hollywood writer's deranged imagination.


An Apology to the Residents of My Illegal Retirement Home

Dear Former Customers and Survivors of the Chris Bucholz Retirement Experience ...


New Store Update and All You'll Get Are These Badass Shirts

We want you to be proud of your roots even if they're in the one state the rest of America goes to die.


The 5 Most Unexpected Things About Life at Guantanamo Bay

Guantanamo Bay probably provokes one of two images in your mind: a torture camp or a real-life Arkham Asylum. Either way, you're wrong. I was there.


6 Horrific Realities of Living With a Bedbug Infestation

If your experience with bedbugs (which I sincerely hope you never have) is anything like mine and my wife's, here's what you have to look forward to.


5 Awful Stories You Shouldn't Laugh At (But Probably Will)

One of the many horrible side effects of the Internet is that it now takes a lot to make me laugh. And sometimes what does the trick is horrifically dark and disturbing stuff.


5 Things Movies Don't Tell You About Mental Institutions

I've been in six psychiatric facilities in three states, from the fancy McLean Hospital to crappier state-run facilities. But I'm better now, and I swear that all this is true.


4 Jokes No One Should Tell (For Good Reason)

After considering each lawsuit, piece of hate mail, and bolt of lightning sent my way over the years, I think I've come up with a few rough guidelines on what can and cannot be joked about.


The 6 Most Ridiculous Products Ever Made for Boobs

It's almost like these designers' familiarity with boobies came from Barbie dolls and RedTube.