"Oh, hey, have you guys seen the masseuse? I've been waiting for a while."
We'll continue after your soul has finished screaming. Done? Great. This is the body of Xin Zhui, a Chinese noblewoman who died over 2,000 years ago, yet continues to be blessed with the skin, flesh, organs, and sunny disposition of a fairly fresh corpse. In fact, she's so well-preserved that doctors were able to perform an autopsy in 1972, presumably right after they got her to stop screaming.
The gritty Mannequin reboot you've all been waiting for!
Experts still aren't sure, but they believe the whole reason her corpse managed to stay beautiful for this long is that it was buried so thoroughly that every method of decomposition basically went "lol j/k fuck that noise." Her tomb was located twelve meters underground, whilst her casket was placed Matryoshka-style inside seven other caskets and yet another burial vault. As for the body, it was wrapped in 20 layers in silk and suspended in a magnesium-infused acid bath. As a result, any corpse-eating bacteria would have suffocated through lack of oxygen and sheer fucking exhaustion.