Well, they'll be around screaming kids all day, so we guess it's fitting.
Here we have Bus Driver and Waiter, which are curious choices, since an occupational Halloween costume usually represents a dream job you hope to have one day, and both of these jobs are ones you usually hold while daydreaming of other jobs. But if the prospect of holding down a steady job doesn't appeal to you, there's always the alternative ...
Costumes 4 Less
"I even sharpened my own spoon!"
Actually, there was a time when parents dressed their kids up like hobos for Halloween. So at least we aren't using society's most vulnerable and tragic population as costume fodder anymore. Yay, us?
Ensure That Someone Urinates On Your Child
Nobody likes the idea of their kid being bullied, but kids are notoriously creative when it comes to cruelty, so one of your jobs as a parent is to try to minimize the opportunities for such meanness. For instance, try to a choose a baby name that doesn't rhyme with, or even sorta sound like, any part of the human anatomy. On a similar note, don't dress up your kid like a goddamn toilet:
"It's a performance art piece representing where I'll have to eat lunch tomorrow to avoid my classmates."
Barring early onset puberty coupled with a hereditary pee fetish, what child would ever want to dress up like a toilet? First things first, you're going to get peed on. Like, that's just a thing you need to accept if you're going trick-or-treating as a commode. If the bullies are big enough to hold you down, there's a good chance you're going to get pooped on too. So, please, don't wear this costume ever.
And, God forbid, if you do, don't point at your junk for pictures. We're pretty sure the child posing for this photo was heckled so hard his parents put him in WITSEC.
When he's not dressing up as a slutty comedy writer, Chris writes for his website and tweets.
For more costumes to avoid entirely, check out 16 Great Halloween Costumes For Telling Everyone You Suck and The 12 Most Deeply Unsexy Halloween Costumes.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, because we have you covered there also in The 40 Worst Last-Minute Halloween Costumes On The Internet, or watch other videos you won't see on the site!
Also, follow us on Facebook and check out our costume of "lots of people wearing paper bags on their heads."