I invite you to read some folksy animal-centric wisdom and become the Yoda of your circle of friends.
We talked to Andrew Hass, whose life was derailed when his dad was caught growing thousands of plants worth of pot back in 1998, when Hass was still a teenager.
We can only imagine the survivors of the following incidents were forever looking over their shoulders to see if the relentless specter of death was trying to sneak up on them to finish the job.
Allow me to speak for every only child and set the record straight on what it's really like.
Since the worship of the Devil and his unholy legion of crooks are an extremely pressing concern for all of us, here are five crucial tips for dealing with Satanic cult crime.
We spoke with a victim of female-on-male rape to find out what it's like to be the victim of a crime that most of society refuses to acknowledge is even a thing. Spoiler Alert: It's awful.
For every effectively memorable and only marginally annoying slogan out there, there's about five that suck eggs.
I've compiled this short list of everyday scenarios that can and will get brutally awkward. Let's see if we can figure out how to survive them in one piece.
Unfortunately, if you don't happen to be the wealthy sort, the system is stacked against you in countless soul-crushing ways.
You're never sure if you should admire their brazen creativity, or just make sure you never live too close to a prison.
While many kids look back at high school with fond memories of the prom or getting piss drunk on cheap hooch, my strongest memory was getting randomly accused of plotting the mass murder of my entire school.
History is chock-full of real conspiracies even crazier than Oliver Stone's fever dreams.