Stranger Things has made Dungeons & Dragons cool again, even if the show does take place in an era when playing it meant risking getting your head shoved into a toilet. Back then, denying you were a D&D player was futile -- bullies could smell it on you. But would the popular kids have mocked us if they truly understood the rich, expansive universe detailed in D&D manuals? Yes, they would have, because said manuals were full of shit like ...
Wizards of the Coast
What Is It?
A visual approximation of Mufasa infected by The Thing.
Where It Went Wrong:
Besides looking like a microbrew beer mascot created by a designer who badly misread the instructions, the Roving Mauler is little more than a biological liability. Does his head stay still while the rest of his body goes pinwheeling around the desert? What's to keep his neck from snapping? If his head goes spinning around with the rest of his body, how the hell does he see where he's going with the horizon whirling around his field of vision like a kaleidoscope?
And where is his lion dick during all this? We're assuming it's between one of those pairs of legs, so given the options, he's either going to have a dick-chin-beard, a dick-earring, or a dick-devilock. And that's just awkward.