Cracked Archive - Tech

The Most Weirdly Specific, Lazy Spam Email I Ever Received

If I want a service of any kind, I at least want it from someone who has the wherewithal to capitalize their words in email subject headings.


Machines That Are, Dare We Say, Sexy

These vehicles are so amazing they're like works of art.


The 6 Most Useless Features Found in Flashlight Apps

I don't know how to make an app, but I can't imagine a flashlight app is difficult to make. It seems like the potato-powered lightbulb of the app world.


5 Shocking Ways The World Is About To Change

The thought of eating bugs might gross/freak/flip you out, but chances are you're doing it already and just don't know it.


5 News Writers Who Are Bad Internet Comments Come to Life

Let's examine five types of deplorable Internet comments and the columnists from rather large institutions who are their living embodiment.


5 Hilariously Petty Abuses Of Revolutionary Technologies

Technology is how humanity puts its smartest minds into its dumbest hands.


25 Amazing Weapons That Are Terrifying In Action

So, like, weapons are pretty cool and stuff when we see them in video games or movies or television. In the real word? Pretty scary.


6 Sexy Ways To Speed Up Your Computer

I shouted angry oaths at my own computer until it answered me. Here's what I found.


8 Once Cutting-Edge Websites That Are Now Super Depressing

Like an awful stain on the already disgusting tapestry of porn we call home, here are some of the more inexplicable 1990s artifacts that are somehow still around.


5 Dark Sides Of The Tech Industry No One Ever Talks About

Don't get me wrong. I come here not to bury the tech industry, but I do come here to heavily criticize Silicon Valley.


6 Insane 'As Seen On TV' Products That Are Worse In Person

I don't want to spoil anything, but these were overpriced.


6 Stupid Features Professional Websites Still Use

The standards for good design and technology for websites are constantly changing. It really is a job for professionals, which is why it's hilarious when those professionals screw up.


5 Tips For Talking To Your Parents About The Internet

Here, for your reverse-rearing pleasure, are five tips to help you handle this tricky conversation with your own parents.


7 Horrific Internet Ads We'll Soon See

To find out what despair awaits, I mounted a clock to the hood of my 1993 Astrovan, accelerated into the time beyond this one, and found the shocking truth.